Hahahaha....so, not all of these apply to me, but my friend showed me this the other day and it's crazy how exact some of them do describe me!! :)
Hope it makes you smile and you can relate to them as well too!
More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.
Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?
Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.
Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.
There is a great need for sarcasm font.
Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first saw it.
I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.
How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.
Was learning cursive really necessary?
Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".
I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".
How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?
Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"
What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.
MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.
Bad decisions make good stories
Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!
If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....
Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.
There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.
I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Aghh!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?
I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
When I meet someone new, I'm terrified of mentioning something they haven't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.
Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...
I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself.
You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
:) Did you smile? :)
-Sadie
Showing posts with label Sadie. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sadie. Show all posts
Monday, December 26, 2011
Friday, December 2, 2011
Needed to Think...
I wrote this blog post a week or so ago, but I wasn't actually sure if I wanted to post it to on the blog...Sydney read over it though and I was also thinking of how maybe it would be good to post it...I guess if I change my mind later, I can always just delete the post right?...you can do that right?....hmmmm. Well, here it goes....I guess.
So, my school is on thanksgiving break now, but I was thinking about if I should make a post. I’m honestly kinda nervous to write this, but I want to because since I feel like writing what I’m feeling will be good and help me get that I want to not have this feelings in anymore…maybe writing it on the blog will help? I’m not sure...but, here we go..
So, as you know through my blog posts from before, I’m different. As in, I have learning disabilities…and I’ve come to just accept that over the years especially since especially this year I know it’s more obvious to others that I’mnot the same, because I can’t ‘hide’ what I used to be able to…just focusing myself on doing the work in for school is difficult enough to manage.
Some people label me as OCD, ADD, Dyslexic, Slow- Learner, Socially Awkward, and Dumb, among other names…but, the thing that bothers me the most, isn’t the names their using, but the fact that they’re labeling me and sometimes incorrectly, and I know that they don’t really even know me. I mean, passing through the halls and through social media as well like facebook, it’s all around me. I can’t escape it. I know I’m being bullied, but I don’t really know how to deal with it. In my mind, I try to make up excuses for why they say what they say and try to justify it in a sense for my personal sense of peace of mind, but in the end, I know they will continue to say these things and reallythere’s nothing I can do about it. Sure I can complain to my Mom, although even then I don’t think there’s much she could do and plus I’m not really one to just be able to start talking about my problems to her since I know she doesn’trealize how much it’s affecting me and it’s not like she can just make all of this disappear anyways. I feel like I’ve opened up to my teachers about it more then to her…which obviously isn’t as good as going to her, but I feel like at school is where everything is the worst since with how interacting with the other students is.
I wonder if it’s the fact that I distract them in class, so that out of class(when there aren’t teachers there as well) they feel the need to pick on me and put me down with the labels and verbally attacks. Maybe it’s because I’m a easy target. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl. Maybe it’s because I really am dumb. Maybe it’s because I don’t understand as quickly as they do. Maybe it’s because teachers try to help me and spend more time covering a topic then everyone else needs. Maybe it’s because they’re insecure. Maybe it’s because they hate me.Maybe it’s because I’m different…..
Would people even notice if I disappeared?
Looking around me at school, I realize I’m one of the few kids who stands out…notbecause I’m a super-genius, or because I’m the class clown, or because I’mpopular. No—that’s not me. I’m the one that stands out because of all the wrong reasons. Why does everyone seem to hate me? I wish more people would take the time to get to know me like my teachers do and not just stop and stare because I trip up the stairs, or drop all of my books, or can’t open my locker as a Junior. I wish I wish I wish…. If only everything could just stop and my life could be normal.
Why did this happen to me? Why do I have to be different? Don’t I matter to you?
In class a few days ago, I broke down…in front of my teacher. I was absolutely mortified because I told myself in the morning that I was going to have a ‘good’day. You see, I have good days and bad days—days where I don’t have any ‘incidents’versus the days where stuff happens…like where my medicine doesn’t work and everything seems to be out of my control, like when I hear really loud noises and the voices yell at me and I can’t focus, and then I start to blink, and then I can’t stop, and then where I might start crying.
So anyways, my teacher took me outside and since it was right before lunch, she let me stay in her room to eat my lunch…not that I ate anything though. I was really upset and so she just let me cry for a good solid 15 minutes. I was so nervous about what she would say to me, but I’m really glad for her because of how she gave me a hug and was telling me that everything would work out and that the advice from her to why I was important and how I had to not listen to the other kids and that the ‘incidents’ aren’t my fault but that there in my mind that I can’t control. Sometimes, I think my teachers ‘get-me’ more then my own mom. She tries to, but it’s just not the same. My teacher was talking to me and just listening when I had something to say, which was really good since usually no one ever takes the time to listen to me or tries to, but then gives up on me when I can’t explain it so good or they decide they don’t really know how to help me. I think maybe she doesn’t really know how to help me sometimes,but maybe because she sees that I sometimes struggle a lot more than everyone else in class that she understands a little better of what to say?
So anyways, that’s just a lot of random thoughts I’ve had lately and obviously there are more, but I’ll have to write another post since because this one is really long and I’m still not even totally sure about posting this.
Well, I guess that’s all… so many feelings and things on my mind right now.
Quote: "Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."
So, my school is on thanksgiving break now, but I was thinking about if I should make a post. I’m honestly kinda nervous to write this, but I want to because since I feel like writing what I’m feeling will be good and help me get that I want to not have this feelings in anymore…maybe writing it on the blog will help? I’m not sure...but, here we go..
So, as you know through my blog posts from before, I’m different. As in, I have learning disabilities…and I’ve come to just accept that over the years especially since especially this year I know it’s more obvious to others that I’mnot the same, because I can’t ‘hide’ what I used to be able to…just focusing myself on doing the work in for school is difficult enough to manage.
Some people label me as OCD, ADD, Dyslexic, Slow- Learner, Socially Awkward, and Dumb, among other names…but, the thing that bothers me the most, isn’t the names their using, but the fact that they’re labeling me and sometimes incorrectly, and I know that they don’t really even know me. I mean, passing through the halls and through social media as well like facebook, it’s all around me. I can’t escape it. I know I’m being bullied, but I don’t really know how to deal with it. In my mind, I try to make up excuses for why they say what they say and try to justify it in a sense for my personal sense of peace of mind, but in the end, I know they will continue to say these things and reallythere’s nothing I can do about it. Sure I can complain to my Mom, although even then I don’t think there’s much she could do and plus I’m not really one to just be able to start talking about my problems to her since I know she doesn’trealize how much it’s affecting me and it’s not like she can just make all of this disappear anyways. I feel like I’ve opened up to my teachers about it more then to her…which obviously isn’t as good as going to her, but I feel like at school is where everything is the worst since with how interacting with the other students is.
I wonder if it’s the fact that I distract them in class, so that out of class(when there aren’t teachers there as well) they feel the need to pick on me and put me down with the labels and verbally attacks. Maybe it’s because I’m a easy target. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl. Maybe it’s because I really am dumb. Maybe it’s because I don’t understand as quickly as they do. Maybe it’s because teachers try to help me and spend more time covering a topic then everyone else needs. Maybe it’s because they’re insecure. Maybe it’s because they hate me.Maybe it’s because I’m different…..
Would people even notice if I disappeared?
Looking around me at school, I realize I’m one of the few kids who stands out…notbecause I’m a super-genius, or because I’m the class clown, or because I’mpopular. No—that’s not me. I’m the one that stands out because of all the wrong reasons. Why does everyone seem to hate me? I wish more people would take the time to get to know me like my teachers do and not just stop and stare because I trip up the stairs, or drop all of my books, or can’t open my locker as a Junior. I wish I wish I wish…. If only everything could just stop and my life could be normal.
Why did this happen to me? Why do I have to be different? Don’t I matter to you?
In class a few days ago, I broke down…in front of my teacher. I was absolutely mortified because I told myself in the morning that I was going to have a ‘good’day. You see, I have good days and bad days—days where I don’t have any ‘incidents’versus the days where stuff happens…like where my medicine doesn’t work and everything seems to be out of my control, like when I hear really loud noises and the voices yell at me and I can’t focus, and then I start to blink, and then I can’t stop, and then where I might start crying.
So anyways, my teacher took me outside and since it was right before lunch, she let me stay in her room to eat my lunch…not that I ate anything though. I was really upset and so she just let me cry for a good solid 15 minutes. I was so nervous about what she would say to me, but I’m really glad for her because of how she gave me a hug and was telling me that everything would work out and that the advice from her to why I was important and how I had to not listen to the other kids and that the ‘incidents’ aren’t my fault but that there in my mind that I can’t control. Sometimes, I think my teachers ‘get-me’ more then my own mom. She tries to, but it’s just not the same. My teacher was talking to me and just listening when I had something to say, which was really good since usually no one ever takes the time to listen to me or tries to, but then gives up on me when I can’t explain it so good or they decide they don’t really know how to help me. I think maybe she doesn’t really know how to help me sometimes,but maybe because she sees that I sometimes struggle a lot more than everyone else in class that she understands a little better of what to say?
So anyways, that’s just a lot of random thoughts I’ve had lately and obviously there are more, but I’ll have to write another post since because this one is really long and I’m still not even totally sure about posting this.
Well, I guess that’s all… so many feelings and things on my mind right now.
Quote: "Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
Everything Builds...
You know how people tell you that you should live each day like it's a miracle or whatever?....well, sure. I agree. But, sometimes it just doesn't work that way. I feel like after so many times of 'falling down' while it seems that others are always able to rise up above obstacles, makes it seem that life will beat me down until there's nothing left. Call me crazy, but I just might not be able to do this anymore.....school, stressfulness, nothing going right. I need a break.
Do you think I've over-reacting?
Do you think I need to just sleep and forget about what they say?
How am I supposed to continually just listen to what they say about me?
What did I do wrong?
Will it ever stop?
Does my teacher really understand what goes on, or does she only have a basic level of knowledge with of what goes on in her class?
Why did she not stand up for me?
Can this just all STOP?
UGHHHHHHHHHH. I'm soooo over all of this. I feel like all of the snide comments and rumors people spread about me because I"m different, although they haven't gotten any worse, the fact that they're constantly new things people say about me or that they are just constantly saying ANYTHING has all added up to be tooo much for me to deal with. I wish they would just listen for once! I want to be their friends, but not if they don't change. Is it really that much fun to pick on someone who can't and doesnt' fight back? Is joining the crowd that important to you? What happened to treating others the way you want to be treated?....
Is it my fault that I'm different?
I wish people would understand just how much I wish I could be more normal. :( Maybe then, they'd understand that I didn't chose to be like this and I've trying my very best, but maybe I'm just never going to be like you? Okay? Why can't you just understand that I'm working on to be better...
Do you think I've over-reacting?
Do you think I need to just sleep and forget about what they say?
How am I supposed to continually just listen to what they say about me?
What did I do wrong?
Will it ever stop?
Does my teacher really understand what goes on, or does she only have a basic level of knowledge with of what goes on in her class?
Why did she not stand up for me?
Can this just all STOP?
UGHHHHHHHHHH. I'm soooo over all of this. I feel like all of the snide comments and rumors people spread about me because I"m different, although they haven't gotten any worse, the fact that they're constantly new things people say about me or that they are just constantly saying ANYTHING has all added up to be tooo much for me to deal with. I wish they would just listen for once! I want to be their friends, but not if they don't change. Is it really that much fun to pick on someone who can't and doesnt' fight back? Is joining the crowd that important to you? What happened to treating others the way you want to be treated?....
Is it my fault that I'm different?
I wish people would understand just how much I wish I could be more normal. :( Maybe then, they'd understand that I didn't chose to be like this and I've trying my very best, but maybe I'm just never going to be like you? Okay? Why can't you just understand that I'm working on to be better...
Saturday, November 19, 2011
A Long Time Has Passed...
Hi everyone! It's been a long time since I wrote on the blog...but, I've been real busy lately. It's ThanksGiving Break now for me though, so I thought I should maybe write a post!
I was just thinking about how great the feeling is when your at home and don't have anything you have to do..it's very relaxing! I don't have any homework over this break which is exciting because it means I have lots of time to just hang out! I'm hoping my friend and me can have a sleepover, but she doesn't know if it's going to work because her mom wants her to babysit her younger siblings-- :(
Since it's Thanksgiving soon I thought I would make a list of some things I'm thankful for:
-my family
-friends
-understandingness of teachers
-peacefulness
-feeling calm
-music
-books
-sleep
-'lazy' days (translated: days where you don't have a lot to do)
-making new friends (<3 ya Sydney!!)
There's a short list...but of course, there are lots of other things in life I'm thankful for!
I hope everyone has a really relaxing and enjoyable ThanksGiving this year! :)
Quote:
"Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference." ~Jane Goodall
I was just thinking about how great the feeling is when your at home and don't have anything you have to do..it's very relaxing! I don't have any homework over this break which is exciting because it means I have lots of time to just hang out! I'm hoping my friend and me can have a sleepover, but she doesn't know if it's going to work because her mom wants her to babysit her younger siblings-- :(
Since it's Thanksgiving soon I thought I would make a list of some things I'm thankful for:
-my family
-friends
-understandingness of teachers
-peacefulness
-feeling calm
-music
-books
-sleep
-'lazy' days (translated: days where you don't have a lot to do)
-making new friends (<3 ya Sydney!!)
There's a short list...but of course, there are lots of other things in life I'm thankful for!
I hope everyone has a really relaxing and enjoyable ThanksGiving this year! :)
Quote:
"Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference." ~Jane Goodall
Saturday, September 17, 2011
"Just Be Yourself"
Hey everyone,
It's been a long time since I've posted on the blog. Maybe it's time to write again. haha...what do you tihnk?
Anyways, I was thinking about a discusion I had with my teacher the other day after she realized that I was upset by a comment another classmate had made to me about the fact that I'm not like everyone else (but obviously my classmates haven't been told this, so they just see me as 'different').
Lets call this classmate Eli and the teacher Ms.M. Okay, so we were doing a reading circle where as a class we go around the room and everyone reads a part of the book, or in this case short story. There's the option to pass if you don't want to read, and in the past years of of school I usually chose this, but starting a new year and in a effor to challenge myself and grow as a person I decided to actualy try to read when it was my turn. When I read I have to do what some people may refer rto as finger reading so that I can fololow where the wrods are in the line where we're reading. Eli made an initiel comment that I was reading too slow and too softly, so I tried to be louder AND faster (that was the harder part) as I continued on with the paragraph. I thought I was doing well, but then he has to point out that I'm finger reading...now, this wouldn't be so bad if he had just asked me, but the fact that he pointed it out the the entire class mortified me...obviously. Come on now....we're in 11th grade, it's NOT necesery to put someone down like that. URGH. So anyways, Ms.M said I could leave the room if I needed for a minute since I was clearly embarrased and upset by his remark, so I went to the bathroom and then just hung outside the room for the last 5 or so mins of class...
Since the class after this was Lunch, Ms.M asked me to stay and talk with her for aminute once everyone else had left. I think it really helped since obviously she's noticed that I finger read, I read slower than other people, and I'm well..different. I don't know if teachers know all of the medical things with students, but now she knows I'm dyslexic. I'll be honest, I try my best to 'hide' the fact that I'm dislexic in school beacuse I don't want to have any different treatment then other kids...but, teahcers are smart and obviously I can't completey hide this fact. I mean, it's part of who I am. Although, we talked a lot about the fact that I can't let other people's comments get to me, but that she knows how hurtful and mean his comment was, the one thing that I'll always alwayas always remember her telling to me is this: "Just be yourself"
She told me that I can get extra help on readings anythime and that she's going to have a talk with Eli, but not outright disclose that I'm dyslexic. So, I think it was befeneficial to talk with her and now she knows why I stuggle in her class, but that I do truly want to be successful with my reading and writing this year.
Okay, so that was kind of scattered, but it was definitely a important part of my junior year so I thought i hsould include it in the blog. Thanks for reading.
Quote: "Out of darkness comes a rainbow."
It's been a long time since I've posted on the blog. Maybe it's time to write again. haha...what do you tihnk?
Anyways, I was thinking about a discusion I had with my teacher the other day after she realized that I was upset by a comment another classmate had made to me about the fact that I'm not like everyone else (but obviously my classmates haven't been told this, so they just see me as 'different').
Lets call this classmate Eli and the teacher Ms.M. Okay, so we were doing a reading circle where as a class we go around the room and everyone reads a part of the book, or in this case short story. There's the option to pass if you don't want to read, and in the past years of of school I usually chose this, but starting a new year and in a effor to challenge myself and grow as a person I decided to actualy try to read when it was my turn. When I read I have to do what some people may refer rto as finger reading so that I can fololow where the wrods are in the line where we're reading. Eli made an initiel comment that I was reading too slow and too softly, so I tried to be louder AND faster (that was the harder part) as I continued on with the paragraph. I thought I was doing well, but then he has to point out that I'm finger reading...now, this wouldn't be so bad if he had just asked me, but the fact that he pointed it out the the entire class mortified me...obviously. Come on now....we're in 11th grade, it's NOT necesery to put someone down like that. URGH. So anyways, Ms.M said I could leave the room if I needed for a minute since I was clearly embarrased and upset by his remark, so I went to the bathroom and then just hung outside the room for the last 5 or so mins of class...
Since the class after this was Lunch, Ms.M asked me to stay and talk with her for aminute once everyone else had left. I think it really helped since obviously she's noticed that I finger read, I read slower than other people, and I'm well..different. I don't know if teachers know all of the medical things with students, but now she knows I'm dyslexic. I'll be honest, I try my best to 'hide' the fact that I'm dislexic in school beacuse I don't want to have any different treatment then other kids...but, teahcers are smart and obviously I can't completey hide this fact. I mean, it's part of who I am. Although, we talked a lot about the fact that I can't let other people's comments get to me, but that she knows how hurtful and mean his comment was, the one thing that I'll always alwayas always remember her telling to me is this: "Just be yourself"
She told me that I can get extra help on readings anythime and that she's going to have a talk with Eli, but not outright disclose that I'm dyslexic. So, I think it was befeneficial to talk with her and now she knows why I stuggle in her class, but that I do truly want to be successful with my reading and writing this year.
Okay, so that was kind of scattered, but it was definitely a important part of my junior year so I thought i hsould include it in the blog. Thanks for reading.
Quote: "Out of darkness comes a rainbow."
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Life Goes On
Here's a poem that I wrote for my friend who is having a difficult time with her Mom right now.
Life is hard
Stress from school
the low grades
worrying about failing
the distractions all around
Parents don't understand
times. have. changed
but Life goes on
She may yell at you
telling you your faults
but in my eyes
you're perfect
just as you are now
Moving past is hard
the negativity
the yelling
the cursing
You're strong enough to move past
Life goes on
One day you'll show her
how strong you are
even when she may not see it herself
when she overlooks you
and thinks only of herself
Life goes on
Be persistent
Believe in yourself
You can be anything you want
She can't hold you back
Life goes on
I'm here for you
forever
always
until I die
<3
I think what inspired me to write this poem is all of the nights my friend would call me or IM me crying about how her mom was treating her. I always feel tremendouse pain for her and everything I hear about that's happening. I can only wonder how she (and her sister) manage to always seem so happy at school, when they are constantly put down by their own mother. the person who's supposed to be there to bring you up when you're feeling down. All I can do is give them my support and be there to listen.
Quote: "In three words I can sum up all I've learned about life: It Goes On."
Life is hard
Stress from school
the low grades
worrying about failing
the distractions all around
Parents don't understand
times. have. changed
but Life goes on
She may yell at you
telling you your faults
but in my eyes
you're perfect
just as you are now
Moving past is hard
the negativity
the yelling
the cursing
You're strong enough to move past
Life goes on
One day you'll show her
how strong you are
even when she may not see it herself
when she overlooks you
and thinks only of herself
Life goes on
Be persistent
Believe in yourself
You can be anything you want
She can't hold you back
Life goes on
I'm here for you
forever
always
until I die
<3
I think what inspired me to write this poem is all of the nights my friend would call me or IM me crying about how her mom was treating her. I always feel tremendouse pain for her and everything I hear about that's happening. I can only wonder how she (and her sister) manage to always seem so happy at school, when they are constantly put down by their own mother. the person who's supposed to be there to bring you up when you're feeling down. All I can do is give them my support and be there to listen.
Quote: "In three words I can sum up all I've learned about life: It Goes On."
Sunday, August 28, 2011
Update! :)
Hey Everyone!
School is oficcially started. I've started my classes, kinda figured out my schedule, and yes, I've gotten the 1st 'set' of that dreaded thing known as homework. I forgot how much time consuming it can be...the break over the summer was very nice. :) Anyways, tomorrow will be the start of the 2nd week back at school for the 2011-12 school year and I'm kinda excited since I'll get to reallly get started on classes and get to know my teachers..but at the same time, I'm not really ready. It's about to get very stresful and I can tell I'm going to have a rough time this year with keeping on track with everything. My teachers will be there to help though...but, I'll have to be the one to initiate the help when I need it. In 11th grade, it's not the teacher's job to always be asking me. I know it's time that I have to to make sure I get the help I need when whatever we're learning becomes too confusing and I don't understand. This year my calsses are: Pre-Calc Honors, Spanish 3, US Literature, US History, Earth Science, and AP Biology.... Based on 1st impressions form last week of having class (AKA the 1st week of school year this) my favorite teacher is my spanish teacher...which is fabulous since that's def. going to being one of the classes I will most strugglith since it's a foreign language and I'm not the best with reading/writing things for in english anyways right now too. Oh goodness. It will be a challenege, but I'm up for it! :) Wish me luck!!
Beyond the update of school year, I've been thinking about life in general lately. Somtimes I worry too much about small things. Like what people honestly think of me. If I'll ever be able to at least seem 'normal' despite clearly being different. If I'll ever be able to overcome the fear of failure. When I'll stop being homesick every. sinlge. time. I have to leave home...even when it's for something I enjoy (ex. SEACAMP) Who will take the time each day to say hi and really mean it. If anyone will reach out to me as a friend when they need help. Why I always feel nervous when I have to talk in public. Or why I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in. Overall though, I know that many of these things I worry about are simply irrational fears...and I usually just blow things out of praspective a lot of the time...I can't help it though. So, that's the update (quick, not that indepth) of my life right now...
Here's a short poem I wrote that kinda fits with this post:
Time-Do you see me?
Can you hear me?
Did you know I'm trying to help?
I wonder when you'll take the time
to notice and say hello.
I know I'm quiet
all alone in my world
I'd open up to you though
if I thought you really cared
Does anyone ever stop to think
about the passing world
or is it solely I alone
who contemplates
these hours
minutes
seconds
passing by
wasted time unnoticed
Lets all breathe and stop right now
to think about this life
these preciouse moments
passing by
that can't be replaced or bought
Quote:
"An hour, one hour, can change everything forever. An hour can save your life. An hour can change your life. Sometimes an hour is a gift we give ourselves. For some, an hour can mean almost nothing. For others, an hour makes all the difference in the world. But in the end, it's still just an hour. One of many. Many more to come. Sixty minutes. Thirty-six hundred seconds. That's it. Then it starts all over again. And who knows what the next hour might hold."
Thanks for reading! Sorry it's been so long since I've posted.
-Sadie
School is oficcially started. I've started my classes, kinda figured out my schedule, and yes, I've gotten the 1st 'set' of that dreaded thing known as homework. I forgot how much time consuming it can be...the break over the summer was very nice. :) Anyways, tomorrow will be the start of the 2nd week back at school for the 2011-12 school year and I'm kinda excited since I'll get to reallly get started on classes and get to know my teachers..but at the same time, I'm not really ready. It's about to get very stresful and I can tell I'm going to have a rough time this year with keeping on track with everything. My teachers will be there to help though...but, I'll have to be the one to initiate the help when I need it. In 11th grade, it's not the teacher's job to always be asking me. I know it's time that I have to to make sure I get the help I need when whatever we're learning becomes too confusing and I don't understand. This year my calsses are: Pre-Calc Honors, Spanish 3, US Literature, US History, Earth Science, and AP Biology.... Based on 1st impressions form last week of having class (AKA the 1st week of school year this) my favorite teacher is my spanish teacher...which is fabulous since that's def. going to being one of the classes I will most strugglith since it's a foreign language and I'm not the best with reading/writing things for in english anyways right now too. Oh goodness. It will be a challenege, but I'm up for it! :) Wish me luck!!
Beyond the update of school year, I've been thinking about life in general lately. Somtimes I worry too much about small things. Like what people honestly think of me. If I'll ever be able to at least seem 'normal' despite clearly being different. If I'll ever be able to overcome the fear of failure. When I'll stop being homesick every. sinlge. time. I have to leave home...even when it's for something I enjoy (ex. SEACAMP) Who will take the time each day to say hi and really mean it. If anyone will reach out to me as a friend when they need help. Why I always feel nervous when I have to talk in public. Or why I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in. Overall though, I know that many of these things I worry about are simply irrational fears...and I usually just blow things out of praspective a lot of the time...I can't help it though. So, that's the update (quick, not that indepth) of my life right now...
Here's a short poem I wrote that kinda fits with this post:
Time-Do you see me?
Can you hear me?
Did you know I'm trying to help?
I wonder when you'll take the time
to notice and say hello.
I know I'm quiet
all alone in my world
I'd open up to you though
if I thought you really cared
Does anyone ever stop to think
about the passing world
or is it solely I alone
who contemplates
these hours
minutes
seconds
passing by
wasted time unnoticed
Lets all breathe and stop right now
to think about this life
these preciouse moments
passing by
that can't be replaced or bought
Quote:
"An hour, one hour, can change everything forever. An hour can save your life. An hour can change your life. Sometimes an hour is a gift we give ourselves. For some, an hour can mean almost nothing. For others, an hour makes all the difference in the world. But in the end, it's still just an hour. One of many. Many more to come. Sixty minutes. Thirty-six hundred seconds. That's it. Then it starts all over again. And who knows what the next hour might hold."
Thanks for reading! Sorry it's been so long since I've posted.
-Sadie
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
I Don't Undestand...
I am frustrated right now....WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE PROMISES THEY CAN'T KEEP?
Uggghhhhhh.
I think I need sleep, the weekend, and a break from life. No seriously. I need a break from life.
Have you ever had one of those days that had lots of little things that were just not going right? and then there's just that one thing at the end of the day that pushes you over the edge? Well, yeah. there ya go. My day in a nutshell...without all of the annoying things that happened. UGHHHHH.
But, crying it out helped...call me a cry baby or what not, but it really does. I felt a little relieved after I just layed in my bed with my bear crying...but, it still didn't solve any of the the problems...sooo, I guess it didn't help THAT much..just a little.
Sorry this was such a lame post. I'll try to post something better later this week...
-Sadie ><>
Here's a quote:
"And if we're lucky, we realize, in the face of everything, in the face of life, the true dream is being able to dream at all."
Uggghhhhhh.
I think I need sleep, the weekend, and a break from life. No seriously. I need a break from life.
Have you ever had one of those days that had lots of little things that were just not going right? and then there's just that one thing at the end of the day that pushes you over the edge? Well, yeah. there ya go. My day in a nutshell...without all of the annoying things that happened. UGHHHHH.
But, crying it out helped...call me a cry baby or what not, but it really does. I felt a little relieved after I just layed in my bed with my bear crying...but, it still didn't solve any of the the problems...sooo, I guess it didn't help THAT much..just a little.
Sorry this was such a lame post. I'll try to post something better later this week...
-Sadie ><>
Here's a quote:
"And if we're lucky, we realize, in the face of everything, in the face of life, the true dream is being able to dream at all."
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
CS Poem: Children's Eyes
Hey everyone it's Sadie! Here's another poem...although, I didn't write it myself. I love this poem...and thought you might like it too! It's from the Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul Series.
Children's Eyes (All credit goes to Tom Krause)
What kind of world is it my friend
Children's Eyes (All credit goes to Tom Krause)
What kind of world is it my friend
that little children see?
I wonder if they see God first
because they just believe?
Do they see strength in caring eyes
who watch them as they play--
or maybe love through gentle hands
that guide them on their way?
Do you think they dream of future times
when they would be the king--
or just enjoy their present life
while with their friends they sing?
Do they see the acts of kindness
done for people who are poor?
Is the very best in everyone
what they are looking for?
And when the day is over,
as they close their eyes to sleep,
do they look forward to tomorrow
with its promises to keep?
If this is what the children see,
then it should be no surprise,
the world would be a better place
if we all had children's eyes.
because they just believe?
Do they see strength in caring eyes
who watch them as they play--
or maybe love through gentle hands
that guide them on their way?
Do you think they dream of future times
when they would be the king--
or just enjoy their present life
while with their friends they sing?
Do they see the acts of kindness
done for people who are poor?
Is the very best in everyone
what they are looking for?
And when the day is over,
as they close their eyes to sleep,
do they look forward to tomorrow
with its promises to keep?
If this is what the children see,
then it should be no surprise,
the world would be a better place
if we all had children's eyes.
I hope you enjoyed the poem! I read this one (among others) in the book and instantly fell in love with it. :)
Here's a quote: "Obstacles are those frightful things that you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
Here's a quote: "Obstacles are those frightful things that you see when you take your eyes off your goal."
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Poem: Listen. Can You Hear it?
Here's a poem I wrote called:
Listen. Can You Hear it?
The Other day
I was wisked away
to a land that very few know
I stopped just to lay
beneath the bright stars
glowing brightly
but just too far
too far to reach
too far to wish
too far for me as one
It's always me
but never you
will I ever understand?
I want to say
so you will know
the facts about this life
my life has crossed
the path of yours
I hope you know that's good
the connection we have
is special indeed
but only if you notice and lead
I've been to this land
so please take my hand
I'll share all is new
the time I have with you
will you please join me
lets go to this land
just you and me-- friends
I've know you forever
but yet have nothing to show
so tomorrow we'll go
to the land very few know
and this secret to you I will show.
Quote: "The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live." :)
Listen. Can You Hear it?
The Other day
I was wisked away
to a land that very few know
I stopped just to lay
beneath the bright stars
glowing brightly
but just too far
too far to reach
too far to wish
too far for me as one
It's always me
but never you
will I ever understand?
I want to say
so you will know
the facts about this life
my life has crossed
the path of yours
I hope you know that's good
the connection we have
is special indeed
but only if you notice and lead
I've been to this land
so please take my hand
I'll share all is new
the time I have with you
will you please join me
lets go to this land
just you and me-- friends
I've know you forever
but yet have nothing to show
so tomorrow we'll go
to the land very few know
and this secret to you I will show.
Quote: "The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live." :)
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
Dream. Believe. Imagine
Hey everyone reading the blog!
Dream. Believe. Imagine.
Such great words..but, I feel like they're often overlooked because people focus too much on the small things in life that aren't going right instead of the things they have to be able to look forward to...I'm guilty too though.
You need to have dreams, believe they are possible, and then imagine the ways you will make them come true.
I remember the time when I was little and my friend who's almost like a sister to me said: "You'll never be able to do THAT (be a teacher) since you can't even read that well; are you CRAZY?!!!" and it made me really think. I've known for over half of my life that I'm 'different' in more than just the typical ways, but when my friend said this to me after I claimed I was going to be a 5th grade teacher when I was in 3rd grade; I wondered why she would say something like that, but over time I've a. forgiven her for 'killing my dreams' as I saw it at that point, and b. realized that being different makes judgement from others come quicker, but it also allows you to see the world in different ways. Despite the fact that being a teacher was my dream and I had been planning to go that 'route' when I got older, I've realized that being a teacher is definitely not what I want to do with my life...and that something else is....Marine Biology. I'm fascinated by the ocean and marine life, so now that I'm older, that's my dream. I believe it's possible. and I've definitely imagined a variety of ways to make that happen... ><>
EVERYONE should read this...my Mom showed it to me a few days ago and it's all so true (even if there are some that don't really apply directly to me...I still love it.)
"I am thankful...
.. for the husband who complains when his dinner is
not on time, because it means he is home with me, not
with someone else.
.. for the teenager who is complaining about doing
dishes, because it means she/he is at home, not on the
streets.
.. for the taxes that I pay, because it means that I
am employed .
.. for the mess to clean after a party, because it
means that I have been surrounded by friends.
.. for the clothes that fit a little too snug,
because it means I have enough to eat.
.. for my shadow that watches me work, because it
means I am out in the sunshine.
.. for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need
cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it
means I have a home.
.. for all the complaining I hear about the
Government, because it means we have freedom of speech.
.. for the parking spot I find at the far end of the
parking lot, because it means I am capable of
walking, and that I have been blessed with
transportation.
.. for my huge heating bill, because it means I am
warm.
.. for the lady behind me in church that sings off
key, because it means that I can hear.
.. for the pile of laundry and ironing, because it
means I have clothes to wear.
.. for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the
day, because it means I have been capable of working
hard and using those limbs.
.. for the alarm that goes off in the early morning,
because it means that I am alive.
And finally
.... for too much e-mail, because it means I have
friends who are thinking of me and are trying to make
me smile even when they are out of touch.
Dream. Believe. Imagine.
Such great words..but, I feel like they're often overlooked because people focus too much on the small things in life that aren't going right instead of the things they have to be able to look forward to...I'm guilty too though.
You need to have dreams, believe they are possible, and then imagine the ways you will make them come true.
I remember the time when I was little and my friend who's almost like a sister to me said: "You'll never be able to do THAT (be a teacher) since you can't even read that well; are you CRAZY?!!!" and it made me really think. I've known for over half of my life that I'm 'different' in more than just the typical ways, but when my friend said this to me after I claimed I was going to be a 5th grade teacher when I was in 3rd grade; I wondered why she would say something like that, but over time I've a. forgiven her for 'killing my dreams' as I saw it at that point, and b. realized that being different makes judgement from others come quicker, but it also allows you to see the world in different ways. Despite the fact that being a teacher was my dream and I had been planning to go that 'route' when I got older, I've realized that being a teacher is definitely not what I want to do with my life...and that something else is....Marine Biology. I'm fascinated by the ocean and marine life, so now that I'm older, that's my dream. I believe it's possible. and I've definitely imagined a variety of ways to make that happen... ><>
EVERYONE should read this...my Mom showed it to me a few days ago and it's all so true (even if there are some that don't really apply directly to me...I still love it.)
"I am thankful...
.. for the husband who complains when his dinner is
not on time, because it means he is home with me, not
with someone else.
.. for the teenager who is complaining about doing
dishes, because it means she/he is at home, not on the
streets.
.. for the taxes that I pay, because it means that I
am employed .
.. for the mess to clean after a party, because it
means that I have been surrounded by friends.
.. for the clothes that fit a little too snug,
because it means I have enough to eat.
.. for my shadow that watches me work, because it
means I am out in the sunshine.
.. for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need
cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it
means I have a home.
.. for all the complaining I hear about the
Government, because it means we have freedom of speech.
.. for the parking spot I find at the far end of the
parking lot, because it means I am capable of
walking, and that I have been blessed with
transportation.
.. for my huge heating bill, because it means I am
warm.
.. for the lady behind me in church that sings off
key, because it means that I can hear.
.. for the pile of laundry and ironing, because it
means I have clothes to wear.
.. for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the
day, because it means I have been capable of working
hard and using those limbs.
.. for the alarm that goes off in the early morning,
because it means that I am alive.
And finally
.... for too much e-mail, because it means I have
friends who are thinking of me and are trying to make
me smile even when they are out of touch.
Thanks for reading!! :)
Here's a quote:"Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."
Saturday, August 13, 2011
It Got Me Thinking...
Hey Everyone.
So, I started reading this book called "Odd Girl Out" by Rachel Simmons and it got me thinking about just how mean girls can be...but, yet that passive agressive behavior is often overlooked especially when it's mixed in with the physical agression typicaly seen from boys. This is something I often find myself thinking about especially now with high school. Not to often, but often enough, I'll find myself in the middle of a conversation that's completely gossip. Yeah I'll admit it, sometimes it's fun to vent to a friend about how much you hate this one teacher, or this peer that just won't stop doing something that's totally frustrating you, or about that one time when your sibling made you want to kill them....but, quite often, that 'vent' session will turn into gossip and before you can do anything to stop it, the conversation topics spread to just about everyone and almost always leave a victim. I would know..trust me.
At anyrate, I get that it can be fun to gossip a little bit with friends at lunch, before/after school, or on the weekends...but, I just hate how in those moments when I do find myself laughing at a mean joke that's been made and realize that I'm NOT just laughing along with everyone else to fit in..but, that I truly did find something funny in what was being said about that person or group of people. It's frustrating to me when other students gossip and when I find myself in a 'gossip session' because of the lack of self-confidence that I have in myself to be able to stan up to my friends or any other group of people talking about someone else behind their back and spreading rumors. Don't get me wrong, I do realize that a lot of times the rumors start out as truths...but, through exageration and the rush people get from being in the 'know' about who did what, where, and how....it will quite fast become a rumor and completely untrue. It's kinda like that game called telephone that we all played as kids...where one person would start with a word, it would be passed around the circle of people through whispering in ears, and by the end wouldn't be at all what the initial word was. Things happen that skew the truth and change the meaning of something that was said or that happened. That's part of the passive agression that teen girls become part of.
I don't know where exactly I stand when it comes to gossip because on one hand I know I'm totally against it...but, the I realize that I have inded been part of the problem of gossiping with friends, and I feel like a hypocrite saying that I'm totally against it 100%. On the other hand, I realize how mean and problematic it is, and that makes me think that it's okay to take that initial stand because of my UNDERSTANDING of it and how I try my very best to not get involved with those conversations...even though it's sometimes unavoidable. And lets be honest here, who doesn't want to be in the 'know' when it comes to all of the latest happenings regarding school life, teachers, peers, etc... I know I sure want to be.
It's such a hard topic, because we all find ourselves (yes, boys included) gossiping about someone else at one point or another...even if we don't want to actually admit that...but, at the same time everyone who's ever been 'targeted' and has experienced the emotional pain/what it does to your self esteem will understand why it's such a major problem.
I feel like for girls especially it's difficult because of how girls as a whole will use ways such as gossip to passively 'attack' someone they don't like...with their target usually being another peer that's female. One of the hardest parts about gossip is the fact that you never really know WHO started the rumor, and in a sense it creates a 'break' in your sense of security with your peers and you find that you can't fully trust anyone. That's the worst feeling to have when you wake up every morning knowing you're going to go spend the day at school with all of those people.
I'm not really sure where I wanted to go with this post...but this is just something that the book got me really thinking about again. So, I thought, why not make a post about it?
Sorry if it's a bit rambly or hard to follow of my thoughts...I just wanted to get my ideas/thoughts written down.
Thanks for reading! :)
-Sadie
Here's a quote from "Odd Girl Out" to end with:
"Within the hidden culture of agression, girls fight with body language and relationships instead of fists and knives. In this world, friendship is a weapon, and the sting of a shout pales in comparison to a day of someone's silence. There is no gesture more devastating than the back turning away."
(Simmons, pg. 3)
Friday, August 12, 2011
Summer 2011
Hi everyone,
So, for me summer is coming to a close. I have just over 10 days left...and I know it's going to fly by soo fast. :( I find it strange how school always seems to creep up on me and ALWAYS towards the end of summer I realize just how much I still had planned to do slash..still have to do before summer officially ends. It's quite a scary thought to think about not having enough time to finish everything, but I guess that's part of the feeling the end of summer is supposed to give you; you're supposed to feel sad it's over but at the same time, look forward to the 1st week..okay, maybe day...of school where you get to see friends and find out which teachers you have and who has classes with you!! Registration is always the day when I reflect on my summer..in a sense. and since that was today for me, I guess this blog post is right on time...ya know? :)
This summer has had it's ups and downs....as any time period would. Probably my favorite summer 2011 memory will have been SeaCamp, although just overall not having the stress of school/homework/tests was definitely fantastic as well :) The 'low' of my summer would have been family issues, the week when my dog was superrr sick and I was worried he might die, and then obviously the whole friend issue with 'Sara'. I'll start with the lows...
1. family issues...I feel like that's self-explanetory, and I kinda don't want to get into the specifics.
2. My dog being superrr sick...He had a series of 'attacks' where he wasn't able to get enough air and we had to take him to the ER at 1:00 in the morning. It was really scary, and after having to put down a dog just over 2 years ago...I didn't want to have to experience that pain again. especially not with my dog who I love soo much since loosing him would kinda be the equivalent of the world ending...just saying. He means soo much to me. It turned out he had some type of blockage in his stomach and an esophigeal something...but we got medications and did home care to help him get better. <3 So glad he's okay.
3. Friend (or not I guess) Drama...This is mostly explained in the last blog post I wrote.
Now for the fabulous parts of summer: :)
1. ><> SEACAMP!!!!!- Best. thing. ever. Oh my gosh. I love this camp soo much and I'm going to be insanely sad once Senior year starts knowing I won't be able to go there as a camper to the I, II, or III summer sessions. However, there IS a college age trip that I recently found out about..but, I don't know much about that yet. haha. I will have ot look into it. :) But anyways, this is a marine biology camp in San Diego, CA and this summer I did SCII. My favorite part of camp has to have been the night snorkel...even though I almost passed up the opportunity because I was cold and putting on the dreaded wetsuit and then jumping into freezing water didn't seem like it was going to make the situation better...plus, lets be honest. I was kinda freaked out by the idea of jumping into the ocean when it was dark and I wouldn't be able to see more than a few feet infront of my face or around my body (since we were given water flashlights). I made the decision to go though and I"m sooooo glad I did! I would've regretted not going sooo much...although, I probably wouldn't have known what I was missing out on either. It was soooo cool seeing the 'water sparkles'; the squid light and all flashlights were turned off for a period of time once everyone was in the water and you would move your hands back and forth through the water creating movement and there would be little 'sparkles'. What we were seeing was bioluminescense. (A light produced by a chemical reaction that occurs in an organism). We saw dinoflagellates (according to the SC instructors), which are the most common source of bioluminescense. It was soooo cool! I also highly enjoyed the sea lion that was out for a swim and kept circling around my group :) so amazing. So, if it wasn't already obvious; I LOVED the night snorkel :) The seacamp instructors were also fantastic and I loved getting ot know them throughout camp. They were all so friendly and caring; best of all, they knew how to allow for lots of fun while still maintaining a sense of authority, and saftey was def. the number one priority. :)
2. No homework/tests or stress from school...pretty self explanatory :)
SO, overall it has been a great and aa pretty fantastic summer and I'm sad to see it come to a close. 11th grade here we come. I'm incredibly nervous for this year because I've heard it's the difficultest and most challengingist year of high school...whcih I can't imagine will be all that fun with my already present difficutlies in school as is...but, I'm going to try to make the best of it. I'll work through the tough times and it'll be great to know that I have Sydney to help me through along with the blog which will be a good plae to be able to just write it all down. :)
I hope all of you reading the blog (whoever that may be) have had a great summer as well and will have an excellent year of leraning too :)
-Sadie
And here's a quote:
"Our memories of the ocean will linger on, long after our footprints in the sand are gone."
So, for me summer is coming to a close. I have just over 10 days left...and I know it's going to fly by soo fast. :( I find it strange how school always seems to creep up on me and ALWAYS towards the end of summer I realize just how much I still had planned to do slash..still have to do before summer officially ends. It's quite a scary thought to think about not having enough time to finish everything, but I guess that's part of the feeling the end of summer is supposed to give you; you're supposed to feel sad it's over but at the same time, look forward to the 1st week..okay, maybe day...of school where you get to see friends and find out which teachers you have and who has classes with you!! Registration is always the day when I reflect on my summer..in a sense. and since that was today for me, I guess this blog post is right on time...ya know? :)
This summer has had it's ups and downs....as any time period would. Probably my favorite summer 2011 memory will have been SeaCamp, although just overall not having the stress of school/homework/tests was definitely fantastic as well :) The 'low' of my summer would have been family issues, the week when my dog was superrr sick and I was worried he might die, and then obviously the whole friend issue with 'Sara'. I'll start with the lows...
1. family issues...I feel like that's self-explanetory, and I kinda don't want to get into the specifics.
2. My dog being superrr sick...He had a series of 'attacks' where he wasn't able to get enough air and we had to take him to the ER at 1:00 in the morning. It was really scary, and after having to put down a dog just over 2 years ago...I didn't want to have to experience that pain again. especially not with my dog who I love soo much since loosing him would kinda be the equivalent of the world ending...just saying. He means soo much to me. It turned out he had some type of blockage in his stomach and an esophigeal something...but we got medications and did home care to help him get better. <3 So glad he's okay.
3. Friend (or not I guess) Drama...This is mostly explained in the last blog post I wrote.
Now for the fabulous parts of summer: :)
1. ><> SEACAMP!!!!!- Best. thing. ever. Oh my gosh. I love this camp soo much and I'm going to be insanely sad once Senior year starts knowing I won't be able to go there as a camper to the I, II, or III summer sessions. However, there IS a college age trip that I recently found out about..but, I don't know much about that yet. haha. I will have ot look into it. :) But anyways, this is a marine biology camp in San Diego, CA and this summer I did SCII. My favorite part of camp has to have been the night snorkel...even though I almost passed up the opportunity because I was cold and putting on the dreaded wetsuit and then jumping into freezing water didn't seem like it was going to make the situation better...plus, lets be honest. I was kinda freaked out by the idea of jumping into the ocean when it was dark and I wouldn't be able to see more than a few feet infront of my face or around my body (since we were given water flashlights). I made the decision to go though and I"m sooooo glad I did! I would've regretted not going sooo much...although, I probably wouldn't have known what I was missing out on either. It was soooo cool seeing the 'water sparkles'; the squid light and all flashlights were turned off for a period of time once everyone was in the water and you would move your hands back and forth through the water creating movement and there would be little 'sparkles'. What we were seeing was bioluminescense. (A light produced by a chemical reaction that occurs in an organism). We saw dinoflagellates (according to the SC instructors), which are the most common source of bioluminescense. It was soooo cool! I also highly enjoyed the sea lion that was out for a swim and kept circling around my group :) so amazing. So, if it wasn't already obvious; I LOVED the night snorkel :) The seacamp instructors were also fantastic and I loved getting ot know them throughout camp. They were all so friendly and caring; best of all, they knew how to allow for lots of fun while still maintaining a sense of authority, and saftey was def. the number one priority. :)
2. No homework/tests or stress from school...pretty self explanatory :)
SO, overall it has been a great and aa pretty fantastic summer and I'm sad to see it come to a close. 11th grade here we come. I'm incredibly nervous for this year because I've heard it's the difficultest and most challengingist year of high school...whcih I can't imagine will be all that fun with my already present difficutlies in school as is...but, I'm going to try to make the best of it. I'll work through the tough times and it'll be great to know that I have Sydney to help me through along with the blog which will be a good plae to be able to just write it all down. :)
I hope all of you reading the blog (whoever that may be) have had a great summer as well and will have an excellent year of leraning too :)
-Sadie
And here's a quote:
"Our memories of the ocean will linger on, long after our footprints in the sand are gone."
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I Thought We Were Friends...
Hey readers of the SadieandSydney blog!
So, over this summer I've been trying to reconnect with a close friend who I knew in 3rd through 8th grade. For the purposes of this blog, I'm going to call her Sara (although, that's not her real name). It was in 5th grade that we became superrrr close. But, high school started, and we didn't go to the same school. I always worried that I'd lose my elementary and middle school friends with high school, since most of them went on to the same school, but I chose a school different from my home school. We e-mailed/facebooked back and forth for all through 9th and part of 10th grade. Then, she stopped responding to my e-mails towards the end of 10th, and would only reply to me maybe once a month. I thought it might have been just because she was busy with school, homework, sports, and other friends/plans she had. I was still glad to be hearing from her..even if it wasn't nearly as often as it had once been. However, over this summer she hasn't responded to any of my e-mails. Well...until earlier this afternoon. :(
I went into my e-mail expecting another super great e-mail about the blog from Sydney, but instead I found the one from Sara. It basically was her telling me to stop e-mailing her because she didn't want to be friends anymore and didn't understand why I still felt we were "BFFs" like we were in middle school. I just don't really understand where she's coming from and I dont' know what happened to the close relationship we had...I mean, I haven't done anything to give her a reason to suddenly hate me. I've tried so hard to keep in contact with her and maintain not only this one, but all of the friendships I had in middle school....urghhh. Why is this happening? :( What did I do wrong?
It's really hard because I've kinda had this gut feeling that something wasn't right with her and me anymore...since the other girl who was in our friendship group and doesn't go to school with her or me still gets wallposts from her on facebook....and they seem to still be really close. Sara even invited our friend, lets call her Emily, to her birthday party last month, but I never was invited. Emily wanted to carpool to Sara's house for the party, but when she found out I didn't get the invite, she seemed kinda bummed. I'm glad that at least Emily hasn't totally shut me out. Sara has even defreinded and blocked me on facebook... :(
The thing that makes me really frustrated about Sara right now is the fact that she used my learning disability and dyslexia as a rationale for why we can't be friends anymore. Apperanlty, she's tired of having to stand up for me to other people who 'point and stare' because I'm different in that way. She said she was annoyed with all of the 'negative' e-mails I sent her towards the end of last year about bullies...when, all I was looking for was a little reassurance that it's okay to be different from someone other than my Mom (because although that's lovely, it's kinda under the job description of a parent to tell their kid something to make it all better). But guess what...apperantly since I'm not perfect (but get real...no one is.), Sara doesnt' want to be friends anymore. The part that hurts the most is the fact that she used that against me though, because she knows how much I try to think positively about my differences and not let them make me feel any less of a person....But, then again, if she reallllllly doesn't want to be friends with me, and supposedly hates me so much...maybe that's exactly WHY she used that rationale.
I just don't even know....ugh. Why is this so hard?
Maybe this is what I should take out of the experience though....If she has felt this way about me and doesn't want to be friends and is willing to use my disabilities against me, then maybe she's not worth my time or friendship. I'm a quiet person, and I'm not going to freak out and send Sara e-mails demanding all of the details about why exactly she doesn't want to be friends anymore...even though it really makes no sense to me why she's all of a sudden just turned. but, I've decided not to let this get to me because I sense that's exactly what she wants. I'm also not going to give up on her though, in case for whatever reason she decides that she does value my friendship and wants to be friends...and even though I have lost a lot of trust and respect in the person who was once my best friend, I'll be willing to open myself up to her again.
So, I guess I was wrong about us being friends forever and all of the things I was hoping to be able to share with her in 11th grade (since I'm completely scared for this year of school and will probably have a lot I want to share with a friend...I guess that will be what I use the blog for though...and my new friend Sydney! :) Thank goodness at least SOMEONE is willing to listen.
I guess that's all I have to say about this right now; I might post another entry later once I have more time to just think things through, but I'm pretty sure I've gotten most of what needs to be said...
Here's a quote to end with:
"I've learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be."
Thanks for reading.
-Sadie ><>
So, over this summer I've been trying to reconnect with a close friend who I knew in 3rd through 8th grade. For the purposes of this blog, I'm going to call her Sara (although, that's not her real name). It was in 5th grade that we became superrrr close. But, high school started, and we didn't go to the same school. I always worried that I'd lose my elementary and middle school friends with high school, since most of them went on to the same school, but I chose a school different from my home school. We e-mailed/facebooked back and forth for all through 9th and part of 10th grade. Then, she stopped responding to my e-mails towards the end of 10th, and would only reply to me maybe once a month. I thought it might have been just because she was busy with school, homework, sports, and other friends/plans she had. I was still glad to be hearing from her..even if it wasn't nearly as often as it had once been. However, over this summer she hasn't responded to any of my e-mails. Well...until earlier this afternoon. :(
I went into my e-mail expecting another super great e-mail about the blog from Sydney, but instead I found the one from Sara. It basically was her telling me to stop e-mailing her because she didn't want to be friends anymore and didn't understand why I still felt we were "BFFs" like we were in middle school. I just don't really understand where she's coming from and I dont' know what happened to the close relationship we had...I mean, I haven't done anything to give her a reason to suddenly hate me. I've tried so hard to keep in contact with her and maintain not only this one, but all of the friendships I had in middle school....urghhh. Why is this happening? :( What did I do wrong?
It's really hard because I've kinda had this gut feeling that something wasn't right with her and me anymore...since the other girl who was in our friendship group and doesn't go to school with her or me still gets wallposts from her on facebook....and they seem to still be really close. Sara even invited our friend, lets call her Emily, to her birthday party last month, but I never was invited. Emily wanted to carpool to Sara's house for the party, but when she found out I didn't get the invite, she seemed kinda bummed. I'm glad that at least Emily hasn't totally shut me out. Sara has even defreinded and blocked me on facebook... :(
The thing that makes me really frustrated about Sara right now is the fact that she used my learning disability and dyslexia as a rationale for why we can't be friends anymore. Apperanlty, she's tired of having to stand up for me to other people who 'point and stare' because I'm different in that way. She said she was annoyed with all of the 'negative' e-mails I sent her towards the end of last year about bullies...when, all I was looking for was a little reassurance that it's okay to be different from someone other than my Mom (because although that's lovely, it's kinda under the job description of a parent to tell their kid something to make it all better). But guess what...apperantly since I'm not perfect (but get real...no one is.), Sara doesnt' want to be friends anymore. The part that hurts the most is the fact that she used that against me though, because she knows how much I try to think positively about my differences and not let them make me feel any less of a person....But, then again, if she reallllllly doesn't want to be friends with me, and supposedly hates me so much...maybe that's exactly WHY she used that rationale.
I just don't even know....ugh. Why is this so hard?
Maybe this is what I should take out of the experience though....If she has felt this way about me and doesn't want to be friends and is willing to use my disabilities against me, then maybe she's not worth my time or friendship. I'm a quiet person, and I'm not going to freak out and send Sara e-mails demanding all of the details about why exactly she doesn't want to be friends anymore...even though it really makes no sense to me why she's all of a sudden just turned. but, I've decided not to let this get to me because I sense that's exactly what she wants. I'm also not going to give up on her though, in case for whatever reason she decides that she does value my friendship and wants to be friends...and even though I have lost a lot of trust and respect in the person who was once my best friend, I'll be willing to open myself up to her again.
So, I guess I was wrong about us being friends forever and all of the things I was hoping to be able to share with her in 11th grade (since I'm completely scared for this year of school and will probably have a lot I want to share with a friend...I guess that will be what I use the blog for though...and my new friend Sydney! :) Thank goodness at least SOMEONE is willing to listen.
I guess that's all I have to say about this right now; I might post another entry later once I have more time to just think things through, but I'm pretty sure I've gotten most of what needs to be said...
Here's a quote to end with:
"I've learned that things change, people change, and it doesn't mean you forget the past or try to cover it up. It simply means you move on and treasure the memories. Letting go doesn't mean giving up, it means accepting that some things weren't meant to be."
Thanks for reading.
-Sadie ><>
Sometimes I Wonder
Hey everyone!!
So, here I go; my 2nd blog post. :)
Sometimes I wonder if other people notice me, or if they just choose not to stop and say hello. I get it that I'm not as outgoing as most and that I don't live up to that expectation of life, but does that mean I have to feel invisible? Sometimes I wonder why I can't fully be myself around others, and why I always find myself pretending to be something I'm not until that person or group of people 'accept' me.Sometimes I wonder what it feels like to just 'fit' in instead of feeling like an outsider.
Would it matter if I looked different, if I had more money, if I had different hobbies? Would people even notice if I just disappeared? This is not to say that I'm contemplating suicide right now, although I have in the past, but I'm actually content in life with how it is...but sometimes I just wish things were different; I feel like everyone is at that point in life at one time or another.
Sometimes I wonder how other people percieve me; I mean, I know that the obvious reaction would be quiet, shy, unfriendly, stand-offish...but, for those few people in life that don't just go with the initial reaction/feeling, and that try to really try to 'see' who I am beyond that....it's something I wonder. In life there are lots of things I am uncertian about, and I wonder WHY certain things happen. I like to think that everything happens for a reason, but I never understand why bad things happen to good people...although, I have been told that it's because they'll be stronger after dealing with hardships. I don't know why, but sometimes I wonder why I've been born 'different' than most others in that I have a learning 'disability' and dyslexia...but, then I realize that by me having these obstacles to deal with, it allows me to have something that sets me appart from others, even if it is typically viewed as something negative. Sometimes I wonder why others feel the need to make fun of their peers who aren't the same. In middle school, I always wondered why I was constantly being picked on and labeled as 'stupid', but looking back I wonder why I never had the courage to stand up to those bullies and tell them that I wasn't stupid,
just different. I sometimes wonder why I always hold on to the belief
Sometimes I wonder how other people percieve me; I mean, I know that the obvious reaction would be quiet, shy, unfriendly, stand-offish...but, for those few people in life that don't just go with the initial reaction/feeling, and that try to really try to 'see' who I am beyond that....it's something I wonder. In life there are lots of things I am uncertian about, and I wonder WHY certain things happen. I like to think that everything happens for a reason, but I never understand why bad things happen to good people...although, I have been told that it's because they'll be stronger after dealing with hardships. I don't know why, but sometimes I wonder why I've been born 'different' than most others in that I have a learning 'disability' and dyslexia...but, then I realize that by me having these obstacles to deal with, it allows me to have something that sets me appart from others, even if it is typically viewed as something negative. Sometimes I wonder why others feel the need to make fun of their peers who aren't the same. In middle school, I always wondered why I was constantly being picked on and labeled as 'stupid', but looking back I wonder why I never had the courage to stand up to those bullies and tell them that I wasn't stupid,
just different. I sometimes wonder why I always hold on to the belief
and hope that my condition will get better when I know there's no cure. I wonder if it's because I know that despite being different in these
ways, I'll overcome the challenges I face because of this and become
stronger as a person for doing so when at times it feels as if the world
is out to get me.
stronger as a person for doing so when at times it feels as if the world
is out to get me.
Somtimes I wonder why teen girls can be so cruel to their peers. I wonder why the gossip and lies hurt so much when I know that what they're saying isn't true. Is it because EVERYONE is participating in spread them and I'm the 'target'? Or is it because I'm often overlooked, so the things being said are automatically believed by just about everyone since they dont' really know me? Sometimes I wonder if people look at me as just an easy target, someone to pick on, someone who just 'takes' it all withougt a fight. Somtimes I wonder why being different is so hard. Sometimes I wonder why I can't just be more outgoing; why I hold back even though I try so hard to convince myself to speak up, have fun, be myself, relax. Sometimes I wonder if social situations are this challenging for others. Sometimes I wonder if it's only me. I wonder if non-human things ever feel lonely. Like that flower that grew so much faster and is taller than all the others in the field. Or the tree that was planted all alone in the park. Or the only cloud drifting along in a clear blue sky. Does nature ever feel lonely too? Beyond the feelings I wonder about, I wonder about 'silly' things in life too...which I think I'll include here just to brighten the mood a little in my post. :)
Sometimes I wonder if bread is just raw toast.
Sometimes I wonder why the freezer doesn't have a light, but the refrigerator does.
Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be a marine animal and be able to spend all day every day in the ocean.
Sometimes I wonder if bread is just raw toast.
Sometimes I wonder why the freezer doesn't have a light, but the refrigerator does.
Sometimes I wonder what it's like to be a marine animal and be able to spend all day every day in the ocean.
Sometimes I wonder if girls or boys are more understanding.
Sometimes I wonder why one person lets a small problem become a big disadvantage and hold them back, while another person uses that same problem as a means to propell themselves forward.
Sometimes I wonder why we always want what we can't/don't have.
Sometimes I wonder if everyone sees the same colors or if we all see a different color 'green', but since it's been labeled as green, we just go with it.
Sometimes I wonder why one person lets a small problem become a big disadvantage and hold them back, while another person uses that same problem as a means to propell themselves forward.
Sometimes I wonder why we always want what we can't/don't have.
Sometimes I wonder if everyone sees the same colors or if we all see a different color 'green', but since it's been labeled as green, we just go with it.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if technology just disappeared.Somtimes I wonder why the innocense we all have a little kids disappears as we get older.
Somtimes I wonder why time really does seem to fly when you're having fun.
Sometimes I wonder if it's okay to wish to be something different.
Sometimes I wonder why I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and then still not know what time it is.
Somtimes I wonder why answering the same letter 3 or more times, or noticing a pattern in the answers, on a scantron test is so nerve racking.
Sometimes I just wonder about life and the world we live in.
Here's a quote (Well, two actually)-
"Daddy, why does the snow flake?
Because snow--
because snow flakes.
Daddy, what is mustard made of?
Because it's yellow ketchup.
Daddy, why are men bald?
Sometimes they're bald
because their head is shiny...
and they don't have hair on it.
So their head
is just more of their face.
Daddy,
are ladybugs only girls...
or are there boys, too?
And if there are,
what are they called?" (I Am Sam)
"Daddy, where does the sky end?
Why does the moon
follow me home?
Why is the sun orange?
Where does the hour go
in Daylight Savings?" (I Am Sam)
"Daddy, why does the snow flake?
Because snow--
because snow flakes.
Daddy, what is mustard made of?
Because it's yellow ketchup.
Daddy, why are men bald?
Sometimes they're bald
because their head is shiny...
and they don't have hair on it.
So their head
is just more of their face.
Daddy,
are ladybugs only girls...
or are there boys, too?
And if there are,
what are they called?" (I Am Sam)
"Daddy, where does the sky end?
Why does the moon
follow me home?
Why is the sun orange?
Where does the hour go
in Daylight Savings?" (I Am Sam)
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
About Me--Sadie
Hey everyone....Well, anyone who may be reading the blog.
I've never blogged before, but let me start by introducing myself. I'm Sadie, I'm 16, and I'll be in 11th grade this year at a public school in Colorado where I live. I'm not very outgoing, but once you get to know me I'm really pretty open. Something most people don't know about me is that I do have a learning disability where my retention (if you'd call it that) isn't nearly as good as it should be so I have to read something usually at least 5 or 6 times before I fully understand the context of it and can recall details. I also am a little bit dyslexic where I switch letters, numbers, etc...so, just bear with me on that. I will try to always use the spell check thing and re-read through my posts before I publish them, but I might not always catch mistakes. But yeah, so like in school with reading a class book...I read each chapter/section 5 or 6 times in order to fully 'get it' like most students would be able to do after reading it once or twice. After a lot of thinking, I've decided to put this more personal information about me on this blog just because I feel that people reading it will be able to better understand me as I post. I'm not a super intense person; I prefer to just go through life as smoothly as possible...so, I'm pretty chill. Ask me a question, get to know me, but most of all just read this blog!! :)
Some information about myself? Well, I'll make some lists (because if you only take away one thing from this post, make sure to remember that I love making lists) haha...but no seriously. It's kind of my thing...not really but you get the idea :)
Things I love: (here are just a few; there are many)
-lists of things I love
-music
-animals
-reading
-quotes
-optimism
-smoothies
Things I'm interested in:
-marine biology
-science in general
-nature
-animal welfare
Things I hate:
-cruelty to animals
-people who have a pessimistic attitude
-big words that are hard to spell
-the way people label me as 'shy, quiet, and unfriendly' before getting to know me...although, yes. I am fairly quiet and shy....def. not unfriendly though!
Basic get to know you things:
favorite movie (okay, well top 3. haha)-Finding Nemo, I Am Sam, Soul Surfer
favorite book (top 3)-My Sister's Keeper, Marley and Me, The Kite Runner
favorite animal (top 3)-Jelly fish, Commerson's dolphins, Sea Lions
Sports- Soccer!!!
TV- Grey's Anatomy, Arthur
music- Taylor Swift!!! Jack Johnson is pretty great too :)
favorite clothing brand (top 3)- North Face, Adidas, or Nike
favorite part of summer 2011- SEACAMP (San Diego)! ><>
So that covers most of the basics about me....at least, the ones I can think of right now.... :)
I'm going to end with a quote: here's one that I recently discovered in a movie I saw the other day. (It has actually become one of my favorite movies too...So, check it out if you haven't! It's called Soul Surfer.)
"They say the world works in mysterious ways; I say that's an understatement. Who would've thought that teaching a child to surf would teach me that surfing isn't the most important thing in the world, and that something else is. Love. Bigger than any tidal wave; more powerful than any fear." (Soul Surfer)
I've never blogged before, but let me start by introducing myself. I'm Sadie, I'm 16, and I'll be in 11th grade this year at a public school in Colorado where I live. I'm not very outgoing, but once you get to know me I'm really pretty open. Something most people don't know about me is that I do have a learning disability where my retention (if you'd call it that) isn't nearly as good as it should be so I have to read something usually at least 5 or 6 times before I fully understand the context of it and can recall details. I also am a little bit dyslexic where I switch letters, numbers, etc...so, just bear with me on that. I will try to always use the spell check thing and re-read through my posts before I publish them, but I might not always catch mistakes. But yeah, so like in school with reading a class book...I read each chapter/section 5 or 6 times in order to fully 'get it' like most students would be able to do after reading it once or twice. After a lot of thinking, I've decided to put this more personal information about me on this blog just because I feel that people reading it will be able to better understand me as I post. I'm not a super intense person; I prefer to just go through life as smoothly as possible...so, I'm pretty chill. Ask me a question, get to know me, but most of all just read this blog!! :)
Some information about myself? Well, I'll make some lists (because if you only take away one thing from this post, make sure to remember that I love making lists) haha...but no seriously. It's kind of my thing...not really but you get the idea :)
Things I love: (here are just a few; there are many)
-lists of things I love
-music
-animals
-reading
-quotes
-optimism
-smoothies
Things I'm interested in:
-marine biology
-science in general
-nature
-animal welfare
Things I hate:
-cruelty to animals
-people who have a pessimistic attitude
-big words that are hard to spell
-the way people label me as 'shy, quiet, and unfriendly' before getting to know me...although, yes. I am fairly quiet and shy....def. not unfriendly though!
Basic get to know you things:
favorite movie (okay, well top 3. haha)-Finding Nemo, I Am Sam, Soul Surfer
favorite book (top 3)-My Sister's Keeper, Marley and Me, The Kite Runner
favorite animal (top 3)-Jelly fish, Commerson's dolphins, Sea Lions
Sports- Soccer!!!
TV- Grey's Anatomy, Arthur
music- Taylor Swift!!! Jack Johnson is pretty great too :)
favorite clothing brand (top 3)- North Face, Adidas, or Nike
favorite part of summer 2011- SEACAMP (San Diego)! ><>
So that covers most of the basics about me....at least, the ones I can think of right now.... :)
I'm going to end with a quote: here's one that I recently discovered in a movie I saw the other day. (It has actually become one of my favorite movies too...So, check it out if you haven't! It's called Soul Surfer.)
"They say the world works in mysterious ways; I say that's an understatement. Who would've thought that teaching a child to surf would teach me that surfing isn't the most important thing in the world, and that something else is. Love. Bigger than any tidal wave; more powerful than any fear." (Soul Surfer)
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