This Will Make you Smile :)

Hahahaha....so, not all of these apply to me, but my friend showed me this the other day and it's crazy how exact some of them do describe me!! :)
Hope it makes you smile and you can relate to them as well too!


More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they've invented the lighter?

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.


I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

There is a great need for sarcasm font.

Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the hell was going on when I first saw it.

I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

Was learning cursive really necessary?

Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as in...(10 second lapse)..ummm...Goonies"

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.

Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Bad decisions make good stories

Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

"Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.



I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Aghh!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

When I meet someone new, I'm terrified of mentioning something they haven't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles...

As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself.

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

:) Did you smile? :)

-Sadie

Not Good Enough For Me

Sometimes I just wish I had the guts to say “Fuck you” and move on.

But I’m always the one left apologizing. Some people can be total jerks. Yet, I always seem to be stuck with them.

I feel like I’m always trying to prove myself, and I blame myself for nearly everything. I feel like everything is my fault because I feel bad blaming anyone else. I’m my harshest critic. I have to act right and be perfect to feel okay.

I hate crowds. Being ignored makes me uncomfortable, but I settle for it because I don’t want to seem like an attention whore. I’m the one stepping aside to let other people steal the spotlight. After all I don’t want to seem too pushy. I hold myself to the most unreachable standards because I fear I don’t try hard enough. I don’t want to seem lazy, or useless..

Why am I always the doormat? I never feel empowered to speak up for myself. I either say too much, or say too little. Never satisfied.

Maybe I’m nothing. “That girl.” Unimportant.

I know it’s not true… But if I’m not nothing… What am I?

Often times I worry about what people think of me. I let others define me before I define myself and worry that there’s always something wrong. Maybe it’s my mom constantly reminding me to watch my weight. Maybe it’s my friends always moving on. Maybe it’s the people that really don’t give a shit that make me feel like I’m just not worth it. Maybe it’s the constant “I owe yous,” or the many times I’ve heard “I don’t even know yous.” Maybe it’s the world that calls me a bitch, saying I’M the one causing shit.  Cheers! For the times when people call me names and I say “I’m sorry,” the times when my best friend ditches me for my worst enemy and I say “I’m sorry,” the awkward moments when everyone’s having a good time except me but I don’t show it. I’m not “okay,” I’m awful, but I’m still sorry. For the times when some guy from town tries to use me and hurt me, and I say “I’m sorry,” and when I don’t speak up, and do speak up, and either way you’re still upset, “I’m sorry…”

“Let yourself be human, imperfections and all.” I don’t know why it’s so hard to accept this.

I never tell this to anyone…

 -Sydney

RANDOM QUOTE: “I wish I was a white crayon so nobody would use me.”

RANDOM ICON:

Needed to Think...

I wrote this blog post a week or so ago, but I wasn't actually sure if I wanted to post it to on the blog...Sydney read over it though and I was also thinking of how maybe it would be good to post it...I guess if I change my mind later, I can always just delete the post right?...you can do that right?....hmmmm. Well, here it goes....I guess.

So, my school is on thanksgiving break now, but I was thinking about if I should make a post. I’m honestly kinda nervous to write this, but I want to because since I feel like writing what I’m feeling will be good and help me get that I want to not have this feelings in anymore…maybe writing it on the blog will help? I’m not sure...but, here we go..
So, as you know through my blog posts from before, I’m different. As in, I have learning disabilities…and I’ve come to just accept that over the years especially since especially this year I know it’s more obvious to others that I’mnot the same, because I can’t ‘hide’ what I used to be able to…just focusing myself on doing the work in for school is difficult enough to manage.
Some people label me as OCD, ADD, Dyslexic, Slow- Learner, Socially Awkward, and Dumb, among other names…but, the thing that bothers me the most, isn’t the names their using, but the fact that they’re labeling me and sometimes incorrectly, and I know that they don’t really even know me. I mean, passing through the halls and through social media as well like facebook, it’s all around me. I can’t escape it. I know I’m being bullied, but I don’t really know how to deal with it. In my mind, I try to make up excuses for why they say what they say and try to justify it in a sense for my personal sense of peace of mind, but in the end, I know they will continue to say these things and reallythere’s nothing I can do about it. Sure I can complain to my Mom, although even then I don’t think there’s much she could do and plus I’m not really one to just be able to start talking about my problems to her since I know she doesn’trealize how much it’s affecting me and it’s not like she can just make all of this disappear anyways. I feel like I’ve opened up to my teachers about it more then to her…which obviously isn’t as good as going to her, but I feel like at school is where everything is the worst since with how interacting with the other students is.
I wonder if it’s the fact that I distract them in class, so that out of class(when there aren’t teachers there as well) they feel the need to pick on me and put me down with the labels and verbally attacks. Maybe it’s because I’m a easy target. Maybe it’s because I’m a girl. Maybe it’s because I really am dumb. Maybe it’s because I don’t understand as quickly as they do. Maybe it’s because teachers try to help me and spend more time covering a topic then everyone else needs. Maybe it’s because they’re insecure. Maybe it’s because they hate me.Maybe it’s because I’m different…..
Would people even notice if I disappeared?
Looking around me at school, I realize I’m one of the few kids who stands out…notbecause I’m a super-genius, or because I’m the class clown, or because I’mpopular. No—that’s not me. I’m the one that stands out because of all the wrong reasons. Why does everyone seem to hate me? I wish more people would take the time to get to know me like my teachers do and not just stop and stare because I trip up the stairs, or drop all of my books, or can’t open my locker as a Junior. I wish I wish I wish…. If only everything could just stop and my life could be normal.
Why did this happen to me? Why do I have to be different? Don’t I matter to you?
In class a few days ago, I broke down…in front of my teacher. I was absolutely mortified because I told myself in the morning that I was going to have a ‘good’day. You see, I have good days and bad days—days where I don’t have any ‘incidents’versus the days where stuff happens…like where my medicine doesn’t work and everything seems to be out of my control, like when I hear really loud noises and the voices yell at me and I can’t focus, and then I start to blink, and then I can’t stop, and then where I might start crying.
So anyways, my teacher took me outside and since it was right before lunch, she let me stay in her room to eat my lunch…not that I ate anything though. I was really upset and so she just let me cry for a good solid 15 minutes. I was so nervous about what she would say to me, but I’m really glad for her because of how she gave me a hug and was telling me that everything would work out and that the advice from her to why I was important and how I had to not listen to the other kids and that the ‘incidents’ aren’t my fault but that there in my mind that I can’t control. Sometimes, I think my teachers ‘get-me’ more then my own mom. She tries to, but it’s just not the same. My teacher was talking to me and just listening when I had something to say, which was really good since usually no one ever takes the time to listen to me or tries to, but then gives up on me when I can’t explain it so good or they decide they don’t really know how to help me. I think maybe she doesn’t really know how to help me sometimes,but maybe because she sees that I sometimes struggle a lot more than everyone else in class that she understands a little better of what to say?
So anyways, that’s just a lot of random thoughts I’ve had lately and obviously there are more, but I’ll have to write another post since because this one is really long and I’m still not even totally sure about posting this.
Well, I guess that’s all… so many feelings and things on my mind right now.
Quote: "Maybe we're not supposed to be happy. Maybe gratitude has nothing to do with joy. Maybe being grateful means recognizing what you have for what it is. Appreciating small victories. Admiring the struggle it takes simply to be human. Maybe we're thankful for the familiar things we know. And maybe we're thankful for the things we'll never know. At the end of the day, the fact that we have the courage to still be standing is reason enough to celebrate."

Everything Builds...

You know how people tell you that you should live each day like it's a miracle or whatever?....well, sure. I agree. But, sometimes it just doesn't work that way. I feel like after so many times of 'falling down' while it seems that others are always able to rise up above obstacles, makes it seem that life will beat me down until there's nothing left. Call me crazy, but I just might not be able to do this anymore.....school, stressfulness, nothing going right. I need a break.

Do you think I've over-reacting?
Do you think I need to just sleep and forget about what they say?
How am I supposed to continually just listen to what they say about me?
What did I do wrong?
Will it ever stop?
Does my teacher really understand what goes on, or does she only have a basic level of knowledge with of what goes on in her class?
Why did she not stand up for me?
Can this just all STOP?

UGHHHHHHHHHH. I'm soooo over all of this. I feel like all of the snide comments and rumors people spread about me because I"m different, although they haven't gotten any worse, the fact that they're constantly new things people say about me or that they are just constantly saying ANYTHING has all added up to be tooo much for me to deal with. I wish they would just listen for once! I want to be their friends, but not if they don't change. Is it really that much fun to pick on someone who can't and doesnt' fight back? Is joining the crowd that important to you? What happened to treating others the way you want to be treated?....

Is it my fault that I'm different?

I wish people would understand just how much I wish I could be more normal. :( Maybe then, they'd understand that I didn't chose to be like this and I've trying my very best, but maybe I'm just never going to be like you? Okay? Why can't you just understand that I'm working on to be better...

A Long Time Has Passed...

Hi everyone! It's been a long time since I wrote on the blog...but, I've been real busy lately. It's ThanksGiving Break now for me though, so I thought I should maybe write a post!

I was just thinking about how great the feeling is when your at home and don't have anything you have to do..it's very relaxing! I don't have any homework over this break which is exciting because it means I have lots of time to just hang out! I'm hoping my friend and me can have a sleepover, but she doesn't know if it's going to work because her mom wants her to babysit her younger siblings-- :(

Since it's Thanksgiving soon I thought I would make a list of some things I'm thankful for:
-my family
-friends
-understandingness of teachers
-peacefulness
-feeling calm
-music
-books
-sleep
-'lazy' days (translated: days where you don't have a lot to do)
-making new friends (<3 ya Sydney!!)

There's a short list...but of course, there are lots of other things in life I'm thankful for!

I hope everyone has a really relaxing and enjoyable ThanksGiving this year! :)

Quote:
"Every individual matters. Every individual has a role to play. Every individual makes a difference." ~Jane Goodall

Nonchalance and an Awkward Response

I think it’s weird when you encounter someone once and all of a sudden they expect you to say hi to them every time you see them. Some people just can’t think of a good way to get to know someone without being awkward. It’s funny how this particular relationship turned out. It can be quite a mystery game…

“Put on a shirt you w****,” yelled one of the soccer girls as the football players walked out of the locker room. He walked directly towards her and I was sitting beside her as well.

“Don’t you know how f****** hot it is? Oh yeah you don’t because you’ve never had to wear pads,” he replied. Meanwhile I’m trying to avoid probable embarrassment in front of the entire football team so I just mind my own business and put my soccer gear on and say hi to a couple boys on the team. He just continues to act like that same old popular guy, talking to all of my friends, and all of his friends, right in front of my face. Then he decided to say hello. “Hey, Sydney! Sup?” He walked around to the other side of me and continued to talk to his friends while I slowly but happily said hi.

My ears began to block out what was happening right then, but somehow a few minutes later I heard a voice. “She won’t lie to me.” I recognized the voice as his and turned to see him kneeling in front of me with his back facing me. “Can you read what it says on the back of my neck?” Suddenly I stopped. Now I’m no genius but from what I figure they spent a good few minutes talking about what some other popular fool wrote on this fool’s neck and he totally used a sly move to involve me in the conversation. We’re talking about a guy who hardly gets the chance to say hello to me on a daily basis. I must say, it was pretty clever of him to say that, considering he chose not to just ignore me, but somehow the awkwardness got to me.

All I could speak was, “um… okay…” as the other students shouted out what was written. It obviously wasn’t anything special, just a heart and a few letters. I just couldn’t believe what I had gotten into. My friends had brought him close by for friend like reasons and he stayed there building up the courage to talk to me. Ha?

Too bad it didn’t last. Not that I care. That’s when practice started.

At the end of practice, everyone had cleared out and I was the only one left in the parking lot waiting for my ride. But then I saw it walk out of the locker room and towards a door to the school that was a good 20 yards behind me. I knew he was going to walk in it. And he did. But he saw me. And I saw him (he doesn’t know that). He turned around.

I felt it coming. It was creeping up behind me in that nonchalant way. And I finally turned my head to sneak a quick peak. It leaned on the fence beside me. I almost died laughing but hid it with a sweet smile and shy look in the other direction, almost rolling my eyes. But it’s a proud thing. He has the guts to do that, and carry on with a curious conversation. Even more hilarious is that awkward moment when you have to leave and he goes back to where he was headed before leaving you to realize that he had come over playing “the cool dude” card just to talk to you.

Well, I obviously can’t stop thinking about you. I’ve even arranged my routine to fit yours so I could see you more. I get frustrated when we don’t speak, and I get frustrated when we do ‘cause I never say what I’d like to. But it feels different. I don’t get all tingly when I think about you. My heart doesn’t race. I do however smile with wide eyes and a dropping jaw ‘cause I’m in awe of what I’m feeling, but I can’t put a name to it. I feel like we’re just strangers with the constant chance to wink and say hello.

RANDOM QUOTE: "Life isn't about finding yourself. It's about creating yourself."

RANDOM ICON:


Because my name is... <3
-Sydney

"Just Be Yourself"

Hey everyone,
It's been a long time since I've posted on the blog. Maybe it's time to write again. haha...what do you tihnk?

Anyways, I was thinking about a discusion I had with my teacher the other day after she realized that I was  upset by a comment another classmate had made to me about the fact that I'm not like everyone else (but obviously my classmates haven't been told this, so they just see me as 'different').

Lets call this classmate Eli and the teacher Ms.M. Okay, so we were doing a reading circle where as a class we go around the room and everyone reads a part of the book, or in this case short story. There's the option to pass if you don't want to read, and in the past years of of school I usually chose this, but starting a new year and in a effor to challenge myself and grow as a person I decided to actualy try to read when it was my turn. When I read I have to do what some people may refer rto as finger reading so that I can fololow where the wrods are in the line where we're reading. Eli made an initiel comment that I was reading too slow and too softly, so I tried to be louder AND faster (that was the harder part) as I continued on with the paragraph. I thought I was doing well, but then he has to point out that I'm finger reading...now, this wouldn't be so bad if he had just asked me, but the fact that he pointed it out the the entire class mortified me...obviously. Come on now....we're in 11th grade, it's NOT necesery to put someone down like that. URGH. So anyways, Ms.M said I could leave the room if I needed for a minute since I was clearly embarrased and upset by his remark, so I went to the bathroom and then just hung outside the room for the last 5 or so mins of class...

Since the class after this was Lunch, Ms.M asked me to stay and talk with her for aminute once everyone else had left. I think it really helped since obviously she's noticed that I finger read, I read slower than other people, and I'm well..different. I don't know if teachers know all of the medical things with students, but now she knows I'm dyslexic. I'll be honest, I try my best to 'hide' the fact that I'm dislexic in school beacuse I don't want to have any different treatment then other kids...but, teahcers are smart and obviously I can't completey hide this fact. I mean, it's part of who I am. Although, we talked a lot about the fact that I can't let other people's comments get to me, but that she knows how hurtful and mean his comment was, the one thing that I'll always alwayas always remember her telling to me is this: "Just be yourself"

She told me that I can get extra help on readings anythime and that she's going to have a talk with Eli, but not outright disclose that I'm dyslexic. So, I think it was befeneficial to talk with her and now she knows why I stuggle in her class, but that I do truly want to be successful with my reading and writing this year.

Okay, so that was kind of scattered, but it was definitely a important part of my junior year so I thought i hsould include it in the blog. Thanks for reading.

Quote: "Out of darkness comes a rainbow."

Life Goes On

Here's a poem that I wrote for my friend who is having a difficult time with her Mom right now.

Life is hard
Stress from school
the low grades
worrying about failing
the distractions all around
Parents don't understand
times. have. changed
but Life goes on

She may yell at you
telling you your faults
but in my eyes
you're perfect
just as you are now

Moving past is hard
the negativity
the yelling
the cursing
You're strong enough to move past
Life goes on

One day you'll show her
how strong you are
even when she may not see it herself
when she overlooks you
and thinks only of herself
Life goes on

Be persistent
Believe in yourself
You can be anything you want
She can't hold you back
Life goes on
I'm here for you
forever
always
until I die

<3

I think what inspired me to write this poem is all of the nights my friend would call me or IM me crying about how her mom was treating her. I always feel tremendouse pain for her and everything I hear about that's happening. I can only wonder how she (and her sister) manage to always seem so happy at school, when they are constantly put down by their own mother. the person who's supposed to be there to bring you up when you're feeling down. All I can do is give them my support and be there to listen.

Quote: "In three words I can sum up all I've learned about life: It Goes On."

First Day of School

Welcome back world,

My first day of school was a little chaotic. It was no surprise considering no day is normal for me.

First of all, I happen to be a genius when it comes to anonymous texting. Now walking in the hallways being greeted by 50 people who you’ve been pranking throughout the entire summer without giving away your identity makes it a little hard to keep a straight face especially when you hardly ever get that many people to notice you in the first place. Meanwhile I’m running around the hallways with my soccer stuff on and banging on my locker to get it open after 10 tries, throwing things all over the floor. Wow crazy. But if there’s anything you can learn about me it’s that I AM crazy. And I like it. However, I always run around with a smile on my face. Fun times.

But school isn’t all fun in games. I got homework on the first day -_-. What kind of cruel, heartless teacher would do that? A male one. HA! Okay I’m not trying to be stereotypical or rude here but it’s true, he was a guy.

Even weirder, after so many days of ignoring MCSG, I find out he has the same lunch as me. Again. And he literally stared at me the whole time with those beaming eyes and his head leaning on his hand. What’s weird is this “Mr. Popular” can talk to so many girls straight up (while being all flirty and leaning against the lockers) but he can only bring himself to give me a quick toothless smile and a wave after all this time (which I unfortunately could not avoid so I waved back). That was after school, and after avoiding the “guy move/sideways head turn” at me, the smiling, the staring, and the walking right past you in the hallway while you flirt with all the other jocks incident. What is it with jocks? MCSG, the football player, should tell us cause that’s literally the only people he talks to. That’s so cliché of popular cliques. I’m so screwed. You see, the problem is, I don’t know if I hate having MCSG around O_O. One of my friends thinks “he totally likes me” and said “awe Sydney! You like him!” Do not.

            “I deny that possibility.” - Me

“It’s 100% impossible that that could even be possible.” – Me

Major *Sigh* moment: I spot a super cute boy. He looks back and I shy away. He noticed me! I look again and we meet eyes for just a second. Later, I walk by him and he walks right on through, without a care in the world, as if I didn't exist and I'm "just that girl" again. 

Anyways that’s a basic update. I’ll post again when I get my creative juices flowing and my mind out of the “Sunday Lazy Day” mode. Welcome back to fall as we leave the summer sun behind and move into the cold season.

RANDOM QUOTE: "Sometimes I wonder what you think of me or if you think of me at all."

RANDOM ICON:

-Sydney

Update! :)

Hey Everyone!
School is oficcially started. I've started my classes, kinda figured out my schedule, and yes, I've gotten the 1st 'set' of that dreaded thing known as homework. I forgot how much time consuming it can be...the break over the summer was very nice. :) Anyways, tomorrow will be the start of the 2nd week back at school for the 2011-12 school year and I'm kinda excited since I'll get to reallly get started on classes and get to know my teachers..but at the same time, I'm not really ready. It's about to get very stresful and I can tell I'm going to have a rough time this year with keeping on track with everything. My teachers will be there to help though...but, I'll have to be the one to initiate the help when I need it. In 11th grade, it's not the teacher's job to always be asking me. I know it's time that I have to to make sure I get the help I need when whatever we're learning becomes too confusing and I don't understand. This year my calsses are: Pre-Calc Honors, Spanish 3, US Literature, US History, Earth Science, and AP Biology.... Based on 1st impressions form last week of having class (AKA the 1st week of school year this) my favorite teacher is my spanish teacher...which is fabulous since that's def. going to being one of the classes I will most strugglith since it's a foreign language and I'm not the best with reading/writing things for in english anyways right now too. Oh goodness. It will be a challenege, but I'm up for it! :) Wish me luck!!
 Beyond the update of school year, I've been thinking about life in general lately. Somtimes I worry too much about small things. Like what people honestly think of me. If I'll ever be able to at least seem 'normal' despite clearly being different. If I'll ever be able to overcome the fear of failure. When I'll stop being homesick every. sinlge. time. I have to leave home...even when it's for something I enjoy (ex. SEACAMP) Who will take the time each day to say hi and really mean it. If anyone will reach out to me as a friend when they need help. Why I always feel nervous when I have to talk in public. Or why I always feel like I'm on the outside looking in. Overall though, I know that many of these things I worry about are simply irrational fears...and I usually just blow things out of praspective a lot of the time...I can't help it though. So, that's the update (quick, not that indepth) of my life right now...
Here's a short poem I wrote that kinda fits with this post:
Time-Do you see me?
Can you hear me?
Did you know I'm trying to help?
I wonder when you'll take the time
to notice and say hello.
I know I'm quiet
all alone in my world
I'd open up to you though
if I thought you really cared
Does anyone ever stop to think
about the passing world
or is it solely I alone
who contemplates
these hours
minutes
seconds
passing by
wasted time unnoticed
Lets all breathe and stop right now
to think about this life
these preciouse moments
passing by
that can't be replaced or bought

Quote:
"An hour, one hour, can change everything forever. An hour can save your life. An hour can change your life. Sometimes an hour is a gift we give ourselves. For some, an hour can mean almost nothing. For others, an hour makes all the difference in the world. But in the end, it's still just an hour. One of many. Many more to come. Sixty minutes. Thirty-six hundred seconds. That's it. Then it starts all over again. And who knows what the next hour might hold."

Thanks for reading! Sorry it's been so long since I've posted.
-Sadie

The Ugly Truth

Would you rather I be mad because I know the truth, or be mad because I don’t? Would you rather I be mad for you not telling the truth or someone else be mad because you did?

It sucks when life brings you to a point when it’s time to choose between your best friends. It sucks when life brings you to a point where you can’t trust the one’s you’ve trusted most all the times before.

There is no, “it all depends.” You’ve got to choose left or right and live with that decision for the rest of your life without turning back.

Say what you mean and mean what you say.

How does this relate to me? Well, you see, I have a group of a few close mutual friends at school. Unfortunately, where there is a “group” there is secrets because often times everyone talks behind your backs. What’s even worse is making a promise to keep a secret, especially when you absolutely can’t keep them. Promises are most often broken. You can easily see how this could lead into what I was just saying about choosing between friends. I agree with Sadie. 1) Why do people make promises they can’t keep? 2) Some things just push you over the edge and 3) Crying helps. Who wouldn’t cry if you and your best friends were slowly splitting apart? Even worse, they might be taking your other friends with them.

All I wanted was some answers and a little less “Drama Queen.”

To continue…

There’s this boy, right? Of course ;). Said boy doesn’t like to make himself clear. Ask him anything!

Question: How are you?

Answer: I don’t know.

Question: Are you okay?

Answer: Maybe.

Question: So anything exciting happen today?

Answer: I guess.

Question: Do you like ____?

Answer: I don’t want to answer that.

Question: Why won’t you answer that question?

Answer: I don’t know.

Question: Do you seriously want me to be mad at you for not answering me?

Answer:

(Later that day)

Question: Hey what’s up?

Answer: Are you seriously wearing those shoes…?

Dot dot dot…

Boy likes girl. Girl is SO oblivious. Girl likes to talk about how girls like boy. Boy likes to disagree. Boy says more boys like girl than girls like boy. Confused yet? Anyways, it just so happens that this boy is right. More boys like this girl than girls like that boy.

Question: So do you REALLY think more boys like her?

Answer: Well, yeah, considering I’m one of them.

Question: WHAT? Are you kidding me?! I thought you were over this!

Answer: Yeah… Why are you mad?

Question: Seriously? Because you like her and didn’t tell me and it’s really dumb that…

Answer: I never said that! What are you talking about?!

Anyways… point proven.

BOYS LESSON #7: ANSWER. Don’t just be difficult. It’s really annoying.

The Ugly Truth is that... the old truth is the new lie...

RANDOM QUOTE: “Best friends listen to what you don’t say.”

RANDOM ICON:

-Sydney

Definitions

To someone in this small world:

I’m not going to accept anyone’s definition of me.

I define myself.

If I want to be weird, I’ll be weird. If I want to look ugly, I’ll look ugly. If I want to go crazy, I’ll go crazy. If I want to dance, for goodness sake, I’m going to dance!

If there’s one thing I hate, it’s labels.

If you say shame on me for not wearing a skirt, then I’ll say shame on you for not wearing pants.

You see, for all you know, you’re all ugly, and I’m the only one who’s pretty.

Opinions are just opinions.

You don’t have the right to make up the definition of beauty.

But, you know, it’s okay to be ugly. In fact, I want to be ugly! It means I’m different than what your imagination says I should look like. It means I’m cool enough to not fit under one mind’s categorization.

Different is good.

I’m beautiful in my own way.

Life is, after all, a very small world.

If I bore you, find someone interesting to talk to.

If I annoy you, there are plenty of “normal” people in this world.

But you know what?

Normal is overrated.

Normal is basic.

Normal isn’t exciting.

Normal isn’t different! It’s BORING.

So if that’s what you’re looking for, then find another girl, because you’re looking at a girl who’s half alien and half bullfighter tough (and that comes with a side of utter bull crap).

Think I’m full of BS? “I do get called b**** a lot. What I do NOT get called is pushover, stupid, sweetheart, dear, or doormat. Works for me.”

You think I’m weird? I think what you mean is I need to watch what I say because I’ll get showed you up one day.

When you see me on the big screen, you’ll see what I mean.

So if you call me quiet, I’ll be loud.

If you call me ugly, oh snap ;) I’ll show you kick butt beautiful because I’m not going to live up to your expectations.

I’m going to shake things up and be surprising and spastic.

Different.

I’ll be myself, that is, exactly who you think I’m not. You don’t know me.

I bet you don’t know me.

I’m sick of hearing people judging. I’ll admit, I judge too, even to my best friends. It just helps to vent your feelings to someone sometimes and it’s extremely hard to resist. But gossip spreads like wild fire. And as you know, one wild fire, takes a whole lot of firefighters to put out, and the damage is still left behind. I think this is why I keep so many journals. Some are to vent about my personal life, and even sometimes I write down my feelings about others, just so I know I can still make out the words without adding fuel to the fire. It’s really a great hobby and definitely calms the emotions. If you don’t keep journals, I’d recommend it! It’s not silly, or weird, or girly. It’s just being you :).

When it comes to looks, I think it’s much more rewarding to focus on the attractive and beautiful attributes instead of the negative ones. In an attempt to become better at doing this, I decided to make a list of beautiful things:

Sparkling eyes,                                                                      

Smiles,

Dimples,

Freckles,

Sleek and shiny hair,

Gloriously pale or tan skin,

Long eyelashes,

Groomed eyebrows,

Bone structure,

Painted nails,

Cute birth marks,

A facial expression,

Healthiness,

Luscious lips,

Contrasting colors,

The way one walks,

Belly buttons,

Smooth skin,

Soft hands or cheeks.

I could go on forever. Any other ideas for you, world?

I challenge myself to change any desire to insult someone into a precious compliment that will make that person’s day. If you’re a victim or a judger yourself, I challenge you to do the same. If you find yourself thinking, “Eww, this person is just not attractive,” compliment them instead. Having troubles thinking of a compliment? Don’t lie. Think of the little things about them that make that person special. Do something nice for someone. Help them with their books, hold a door open for someone, or just smile and say hello. It’s the little things that count, especially when big gestures aren’t always possible to do. Spread the joy.

RANDOM QUOTE: “I believe in the ugly truth rather than the beautiful lie.”

RANDOM ICON:

Loves, hugs, and happiness,

- Sydney

I Don't Undestand...

I am frustrated right now....WHY DO PEOPLE MAKE PROMISES THEY CAN'T KEEP?
Uggghhhhhh.
I think I need sleep, the weekend, and a break from life. No seriously. I need a break from life.

Have you ever had one of those days that had lots of little things that were just not going right? and then there's just that one thing at the end of the day that pushes you over the edge? Well, yeah. there ya go. My day in a nutshell...without all of the annoying things that happened. UGHHHHH.
But, crying it out helped...call me a cry baby or what not, but it really does. I felt a little relieved after I just layed in my bed with my bear crying...but, it still didn't solve any of the the problems...sooo, I guess it didn't help THAT much..just a little.

Sorry this was such a lame post. I'll try to post something better later this week...

-Sadie ><>

Here's a quote:
"And if we're lucky, we realize, in the face of everything, in the face of life, the true dream is being able to dream at all."

Random Rambles

'Ello World,

Today we had registration for high school. So I went to the school, met up with friends, blah blah blah, completely ignored MCSG (if you didn't read my previous post this stands for Mr. Creepy Stalker Guy) when he tried to catch my attention... Okay hold up.

BOYS LESSON #4: Personally, if I see you do any of the following in an obvious attempt to get me to notice you I will see your obvious signs of interest (unless I'm being a normal girl/guy who can't (ever ever) take hints which is often) crack up laughing and/or think you're a creeper and/or totally see right through your tendency to "play it cool" (which by the way is SO annoying): a) roll around on a chair with wheels screaming, "WHEE!" b) saying hi to a group of friends I'm in that you've never met in your life, c) SHOUT SUPER LOUDLY ABOUT YOUR PRIVATE CONVERSATIONS FROM ALL THE WAY OVER THERE! ! ! d) stand 3 inches away from myface while dramatically staring into my eyes for 20 seconds, e) pull off the old fashioned sideways head turn directly towards me, f) etc. So if you're trying to pass unnoticed, don't do these things haha.

BOYS LESSON #5: If we girls pretend to not notice you and are successful, we win. No if, ands, or buts. So, either boldly run up and directly to our face say "Hey ___(insert name)__!" to get our attention or back off, you lose, and you are only making a fool of yourself by stalking us. (In my opinion of course)

Anyways, I've been going to rigorous soccer tryouts this week, and I just signed up for my dance lessons and a trapeze lesson this weekend. I'm excited! As far as school goes, and summer coming to an end... Well, I still have a week to live like a princess.

I feel like taking life as it comes is much easier.

BOYS LESSON #6: We girls have a right to act like a princess with these conditions: It's our birthday, we are playing pretend, we are in our own little world, and if you're being a jerk. Ha, well, we should be able to anyways.



So school starts in a week for me and guess what? I haven't even started my back to school shopping! There's one advantage to this: Waiting until after school starts to shop means that you hit all of the sales. But unfortunately I only have about 3 new outfits to wear for the first week of school. Don't ask why there is so much pressure to always have new clothes at least at the beginning of school. Apparently... Welcome to High School. We should really rebel against this.

Hey so turns out, I've already started to make a new identity for myself (as far as attitude and... well you know how people classify you in cliques at school? I've just dodged that train). I thought it would be so much more difficult. I just like shaking things up. So generally, I always strive for a new outlook/inlook (is that what they say when somebody is looking at you instead of you looking at the world?). The only bad part about this is many people struggle to figure out if I'm really acting like my true self or just being a little bit different.

And here's a little something I made. Originally I think I was going to use it to cover my binder for school but I decided I didn't want the world to see me as emo (which I must say this isn't a pleasant read). But you can look at it of course!


OH. Originally I was going to make a word art picture of the lyrics to a Taylor Swift song but I got sick of working so I put in different words. This is why you see the words Innocent and Haunting (Innocent and Haunted being 2 of her songs). Speaking of Taylor Swift, her concert is coming up and I finally found a buddy to go with. Yay! 

RANDOM QUOTE: "If we go to school to learn, and knowledge is power, and power is corrupt, and corruption is a crime, and crime doesn't pay then why the heck do we go to school?!"

RANDOM ICON:

And yes, my next post won't be so random/weird/annoying/totally unplanned. :D.

- Sydney

CS Poem: Children's Eyes

Hey everyone it's Sadie! Here's another poem...although, I didn't write it myself. I love this poem...and thought you might like it too! It's from the Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul Series.

Children's Eyes (All credit goes to Tom Krause)

What kind of world is it my friend

that little children see?

I wonder if they see God first
because they just believe?

Do they see strength in caring eyes
who watch them as they play--
or maybe love through gentle hands
that guide them on their way?

Do you think they dream of future times
when they would be the king--
or just enjoy their present life
while with their friends they sing?

Do they see the acts of kindness
done for people who are poor?
Is the very best in everyone
what they are looking for?

And when the day is over,
as they close their eyes to sleep,
do they look forward to tomorrow
with its promises to keep?

If this is what the children see,
then it should be no surprise,
the world would be a better place
if we all had children's eyes.

I hope you enjoyed the poem! I read this one (among others) in the book and instantly fell in love with it. :)
Here's a quote: "Obstacles are those frightful things that you see when you take your eyes off your goal."

Poem: Listen. Can You Hear it?

Here's a poem I wrote called:

Listen. Can You Hear it?
The Other day
I was wisked away
to a land that very few know
I stopped just to lay
beneath the bright stars
glowing brightly
but just too far
too far to reach
too far to wish
too far for me as one
It's always me
but never you
will I ever understand?
I want to say
so you will know
the facts about this life
my life has crossed
the path of yours
I hope you know that's good
the connection we have
is special indeed
but only if you notice and lead
I've been to this land
so please take my hand
I'll share all is new
the time I have with you
will you please join me
lets go to this land
just you and me-- friends
I've know you forever
but yet have nothing to show
so tomorrow we'll go
to the land very few know
and this secret to you I will show.

Quote: "The question is not whether we will die, but how we will live." :)

THE ADVENTURES OF BOO BOO BUNNY

World,

I would like you to meet Boo Boo Bunny...

And in the end, Boo Boo Bunny comes out on top of the world once again. Poor Duck. Evil Boo Boo Bunny.

RANDOM QUOTE: "I wonder what the poor bunnies are doing this season."

RANDOM ICON:

Dream. Believe. Imagine

Hey everyone reading the blog!
Dream. Believe. Imagine.
Such great words..but, I feel like they're often overlooked because people focus too much on the small things in life that aren't going right instead of the things they have to be able to look forward to...I'm guilty too though.

You need to have dreams, believe they are possible, and then imagine the ways you will make them come true.

I remember the time when I was little and my friend who's almost like a sister to me said: "You'll never be able to do THAT (be a teacher) since you can't even read that well; are you CRAZY?!!!" and it made me really think. I've known for over half of my life that I'm 'different' in more than just the typical ways, but when my friend said this to me after I claimed I was going to be a 5th grade teacher when I was in 3rd grade; I wondered why she would say something like that, but over time I've a. forgiven her for 'killing my dreams' as I saw it at that point, and b. realized that being different makes judgement from others come quicker, but it also allows you to see the world in different ways. Despite the fact that being a teacher was my dream and I had been planning to go that 'route' when I got older, I've realized that being a teacher is definitely not what I want to do with my life...and that something else is....Marine Biology. I'm fascinated by the ocean and marine life, so now that I'm older, that's my dream. I believe it's possible. and I've definitely imagined a variety of ways to make that happen... ><>

EVERYONE should read this...my Mom showed it to me a few days ago and it's all so true (even if there are some that don't really apply directly to me...I still love it.)

"I am thankful...


.. for the husband who complains when his dinner is
not on time, because it means he is home with me, not
with someone else.


.. for the teenager who is complaining about doing
dishes, because it means she/he is at home, not on the
streets.


.. for the taxes that I pay, because it means that I
am employed .


.. for the mess to clean after a party, because it
means that I have been surrounded by friends.


.. for the clothes that fit a little too snug,
because it means I have enough to eat.


.. for my shadow that watches me work, because it
means I am out in the sunshine.


.. for a lawn that needs mowing, windows that need
cleaning, and gutters that need fixing, because it
means I have a home.


.. for all the complaining I hear about the
Government, because it means we have freedom of speech.



.. for the parking spot I find at the far end of the
parking lot, because it means I am capable of
walking, and that I have been blessed with
transportation.


.. for my huge heating bill, because it means I am
warm.


.. for the lady behind me in church that sings off
key, because it means that I can hear.


.. for the pile of laundry and ironing, because it
means I have clothes to wear.


.. for weariness and aching muscles at the end of the
day, because it means I have been capable of working
hard and using those limbs.


.. for the alarm that goes off in the early morning,
because it means that I am alive.

And finally


.... for too much e-mail, because it means I have
friends who are thinking of me and are trying to make
me smile even when they are out of touch.

Thanks for reading!! :)
Here's a quote:"Never underestimate the power of a few committed people to change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has."