Drama That You'd Never Tell Your Momma

Hey World,

           

            I feel like my last post was a little weird somehow. But here’s another one that you might be able to relate to a little more. I titled it "Drama That You'd Never Tell Your Momma" because if your mom is anything like mine, she just doesn't understand this kind of girl stuff and if you tell her it will be more like an interogation and "YOU NEED TO DO THIS UGH" then a "oh honny I'm sorry" kind of discussion.

It can be hard to avoid drama with your friends sometimes. What I’ve been going through with my friends is much like a jigsaw puzzle. I’ve been going through a similar thing to what Sadie is going through about her friend ignoring her and not wanting to be friends anymore, except multiple friends are against me. It’s like because of one person, everyone turned against me. It was one person who shared everything I told her to all of my friends (while juicing up the story a little) to make it seem like I was a bad person, my best friend, that did this.

I’m just going to talk about a few little things that burst into a really big deal. This isn’t the full story, as you might be able to tell, but I’m focusing on little details that actually made a big impact on our emotions.

Here’s the bottom line, don’t tell your best friends that you think you’re being replaced and then later tell them that you are now spending more time with someone else. That’s what she did to me and it’s just not cool.

I hate how I shared something special with every single one of my friends, whether that be an inside joke, being the first to know each other in a group of friends, a plan to go on vacation together, communication through email unlike everyone else, or a blog like me and Sadie (who is the only person I’ve ever had a blog with :D), and now it’s not special anymore because each friend spoiled the secrets and gave that special something to someone else too. What hurt me a lot was a friend who I was “twins” with. She became “twins” with my other best friend who happened to be the “best friend” that had complained about me replacing her (which I never did by the way. It was just a rumor that was spread, which is another thing I hate about high school and gossip and teens because they are rarely true and totally break everything apart (another main reason why I’m going through what I’m going through is the spreading of rumors)) and then turned many of my friends against me and replaced me in return. Then another friend starts talking to the person they used to hate when I was friends with them because the “hater” hated me and they became best friends (I hope I’m not confusing you too much with all of the people involved). So all my friends turned against me and we have nothing special anymore and my worst enemies are now friends with my ex friends. Now I’m left with just the memory and everyone is ticked off at me. For life.

A while ago I had my 16^th birthday. One of these so called friends of mine had been ignoring me for quite some time, and this person knew it was my birthday because everyone spread the news, yet this person didn’t say happy birthday to me. Go figure. Now I’m not going to complain about a simple happy birthday but even if this person had told me happy birthday, it’s not like I would think they are trying to be friends with me again. It’s just a nice and unexpected thing to do that would have made me feel really good, especially when all of my other so called friends said happy birthday. Besides, birthdays are supposed to be special and full of surprises. But hey, welcome to high school, where it is absolutely impossible to get around without running into someone you know, as you see them in the halls and classroom all the time, making it extremely obvious that you’re being ignored.

There was another friend that had stopped talking to me as well. Months and months and months had passed and then finally she decided to send me a message forward. After that I got another message saying, “sorry I was really bored XD.” How am I supposed to respond to that after such a long time of not speaking to each other? I was extremely hesitant to respond. All I could think of was that she used me as a second choice to talk to when she was “bored” but she couldn’t be there for the past who knows how many days. All of a sudden, after such a long time, if you decide to talk and expect me to open up like we are still the best BESTEST friends ever, I won’t be quite sure what to do. In fact I’ll be speechless. Yes, it’s a fact that time passing does help the healing process, and it takes time to earn trust back once it’s broken, but how can you trust a person you haven’t spoken to for so long? Who knows what happened to them and what they’ve been talking about. What you do is give a little bit of space then start being there for that person and proving you’re trustworthy again, not just completely let that person loose and come back sometime in the future saying, “HIYA BUDDY!”

I know that my friends talk about me, because once in a while I will get a message asking a question about something and I ask why they want to know and they say they were talking about me, but it just hurts being so isolated just because I actually know what’s going on as they are ignoring me. I know exactly what has happened.

Well, if friends can be a jigsaw puzzle, being “more than just in the friend zone” is a hassle. 2000+ years together, and boys and girls still aren’t on the same page. Sigh.

FLASH BACK

On the last day of school, I recall running into a guy who I barely knew. He was one of those guys that you catch their eye one day and then next thing you know you say hi to each other every day but never really talk to. So he said, “hey Sydney,” as usual with those big beaming eyes and a nice smile, yet in that awkward O_O and :D at the same time kind of way (kind of like those moments when you realize you are right next to your crush with that weird, happy, and tense feeling) so that you could tell he was nervous for some reason. I said hi back, but then he did two really strange things. A) He said (in a really hyper RAWR kind of way) “I’m going to hug you,” and B) are you going to be here next year? Well, maybe these aren’t THAT strange but first of all, that is the most awkward way to get a hug in the entire universe.

BOYS LESSON #1: Don’t ask for hugs. You just let it happen in the spur of the moment, especially if you hardly know that person. I mean if they are sad or extremely shy or something you can politely ask, “would you like a hug,” or “can I hug you?” But otherwise it’s just awkward…

Second of all, what’s it to you if I don’t come back? I should have said I wasn’t coming back, because then what? You ask for some way to contact me? I’m sure you’re thinking I’m acting a little weird for him just trying to be friendly, but this particular guy didn’t have a phone, and I didn’t have a facebook, so there was absolutely no way of contact anyways, AND I didn’t know who the heck this guy was. To me he’s a stranger that by some odd chance goes to my school.

Anyways, that same day, another guy told one of my friends that she looked fat in her outfit. How rude.

BOYS LESSON #2: If a girl asks if she looks fat, she either really thinks she might look fat and trusts your opinion, or she wants to know how you think she looks and wants to hear you say, “no you look great.” Many guys have told me that there is no real good answer to this question, but there is. You either A) use BOYS LESSON #3 which I will list in a second, or B) say she looks fine/good/great/beautiful/etc. Whether it’s hard to believe or not, some girls don’t actually know if they should be content with their weight, and some just want to know what YOU think is a perfect weight, so don’t say, “ugh. Why do all skinny girls have to ask if they are fat? They already know they are skinny.” On the other hand, some girls can be a little obsessive and/or needy when they ask these questions so watch out.

BOYS LESSON #3: ALL insults shall be worded as compliments. For example, “I think what you are wearing is nice, but I REALLY loved the outfit you wore the other day.” If you word it like that, cooties to you, respect for you, and we will appreciate it because if there’s one thing I know, girls love hearing your opinions even if it doesn’t seem like it. In fact, many girls search for your opinions.

That’s all that’s on my mind right now about boys though, so tune in for more in upcoming posts!

RANDOM QUOTE: “Life becomes so much better when you decide not to care. Just live in the moment and don’t let the drama bring you down.”

RANDOM ICON:

-Sydney