It Got Me Thinking...

Hey Everyone.
So, I started reading this book called "Odd Girl Out" by Rachel Simmons and it got me thinking about just how mean girls can be...but, yet that passive agressive behavior is often overlooked especially when it's mixed in with the physical agression typicaly seen from boys. This is something I often find myself thinking about especially now with high school. Not to often, but often enough, I'll find myself in the middle of a conversation that's completely gossip. Yeah I'll admit it, sometimes it's fun to vent to a friend about how much you hate this one teacher, or this peer that just won't stop doing something that's totally frustrating you, or about that one time when your sibling made you want to kill them....but, quite often, that 'vent' session will turn into gossip and before you can do anything to stop it, the conversation topics spread to just about everyone and almost always leave a victim. I would know..trust me.
At anyrate, I get that it can be fun to gossip a little bit with friends at lunch, before/after school, or on the weekends...but, I just hate how in those moments when I do find myself laughing at a mean joke that's been made and realize that I'm NOT just laughing along with everyone else to fit in..but, that I truly did find something funny in what was being said about that person or group of people. It's frustrating to me when other students gossip and when I find myself in a 'gossip session' because of the lack of self-confidence that I have in myself to be able to stan up to my friends or any other group of people talking about someone else behind their back and spreading rumors. Don't get me wrong, I do realize that a lot of times the rumors start out as truths...but, through exageration and the rush people get from being in the 'know' about who did what, where, and how....it will quite fast become a rumor and completely untrue. It's kinda like that game called telephone that we all played as kids...where one person would start with a word, it would be passed around the circle of people through whispering in ears, and by the end wouldn't be at all what the initial word was. Things happen that skew the truth and change the meaning of something that was said or that happened. That's part of the passive agression that teen girls become part of.
I don't know where exactly I stand when it comes to gossip because on one hand I know I'm totally against it...but, the I realize that I have inded been part of the problem of gossiping with friends, and I feel like a hypocrite saying that I'm totally against it 100%. On the other hand, I realize how mean and problematic it is, and that makes me think that it's okay to take that initial stand because of my UNDERSTANDING of it and how I try my very best to not get involved with those conversations...even though it's sometimes unavoidable. And lets be honest here, who doesn't want to be in the 'know' when it comes to all of the latest happenings regarding school life, teachers, peers, etc... I know I sure want to be.
It's such a hard topic, because we all find ourselves (yes, boys included) gossiping about someone else at one point or another...even if we don't want to actually admit that...but, at the same time everyone who's ever been 'targeted' and has experienced the emotional pain/what it does to your self esteem will understand why it's such a major problem.
I feel like for girls especially it's difficult because of how girls as a whole will use ways such as gossip to passively 'attack' someone they don't like...with their target usually being another peer that's female. One of the hardest parts about gossip is the fact that you never really know WHO started the rumor, and in a sense it creates a 'break' in your sense of security with your peers and you find that you can't fully trust anyone. That's the worst feeling to have when you wake up every morning knowing you're going to go spend the day at school with all of those people.
I'm not really sure where I wanted to go with this post...but this is just something that the book got me really thinking about again. So, I thought, why not make a post about it?
Sorry if it's a bit rambly or hard to follow of my thoughts...I just wanted to get my ideas/thoughts written down.
Thanks for reading! :)
-Sadie

Here's a quote from "Odd Girl Out" to end with:
"Within the hidden culture of agression, girls fight with body language and relationships instead of fists and knives. In this world, friendship is a weapon, and the sting of a shout pales in comparison to a day of someone's silence. There is no gesture more devastating than the back turning away."
(Simmons, pg. 3)